Fear of Oranges

My oldest daughter is currently terrified of oranges. Yep, oranges. She actually loves oranges. They are one of her favorite fruits, but yesterday she choked on one -- the air pipe blocked, heimlech manuever needed kind of choke. Along with being some of the scariest moments of my life, that experience has made my daughter vow never to eat another orange.

At the moment her fear is so great that she's willing to miss out on something that she loves. Now, I have no doubt that she will eventually eat another orange, but who knows how long it will take to persuade her that the orange wasn't responsible for her choking.

Too often, we do what my daughter has done and allow fear to paralyze us, which keeps us from experiencing all that God has for us. God doesn't want us to be afraid. Over and over again, the Bible tells us to "Fear not." God gave us a fear reflex as a protective mechanism, and healthy fear keeps us from sticking our hands into a fire or stepping out in front of a speeding car. But unhealthy fear keeps us from enjoying the abundant life that Jesus promised us in John 10:10.

Here's the thing, no matter where we go or what we do, God is there. He has promised to go with us no matter where we are. That promise alone should be enough to settle our fears. We can't go anywhere that God can't go with us. We are never out of His sight.

Fear can keep our kids from using their talents -- they may not try out for a team or a group. It can keep them from making new friends. It can keep them from trying new things. We don't want to raise timid children who are paralyzed by fear.

• Examine your own life and see if you are living a life paralyzed by fear. If you are making decisions based on your own fears, then your kids will follow that model. Ask yourself if the fear you have is meant to protect you or your kids or if it's getting in the way of abundant life and make your decisions accordingly.
• Have your kids learn Joshua 10:25 "Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous." Whenever your kids are irrationally afraid of something to the point that it is holding them back, remind them of this verse.
• Get out a map of the world. Show it to your kids. Try to find the spot on the map that is the farthest away from where you live. Talk about how big the world is. Then talk with your kids about how God is always with us, no matter how far away from home we get. He's with us in every situation and in every place that we go. Deuteronomy 31:6 tells us "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
• Create a word or phrase to use with your kids when they are afraid to remind them that God is in control. It can be as a simple as "fear not" or it can be the name of their greatest fear. Make it somethiing that's easy to remember and is significant to your child, so when they hear it, they will remember to not be afraid because God is with them.

So, whether your kids' greatest fear is oranges, public speaking or the dark, teach them that God is with them, and He can handle that fear.

Odds and Ends

We have a collapsed gingerbread house sitting on our kitchen table. This year, I bought a gingerbread kit that included several little houses instead of one big one. The girls decorated them and we sat our gingerbreas village on the table as our centerpiece. Apparently, yesterday my oldest daughter hit one of them by accident -- and it collapsed in a heap. What was once a beautifully decorated gingerbread house is now just a heap of icing and gingerbread.

Looking at it reminds me of how we can build up the "perfect" Christmas in our minds, and then our expectations are shattered by a hurtful word from a family member, a party that didn't go as planned or a gift from a spouse that didn't meet our expectations. I don't know when Christmas -- a season of joy -- became the holiday that has to be perfect -- making it a season of stress.

Jesus wasn't born in a stable to make our lives stressful. He came so His sacrifice on the cross could create a bridge between us and God. No matter how hard we try, we can't be perfect. "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," says Romans 3:23. John 10:10 tells us that Jesus said "I have come that they may have life and have it to the full." God doesn't want us to spend the Christmas season stressing about the perfect season or the perfect gift. He wants us to celebrate the joy that comes from having a relationship with Him.

So, leave your perfect Christmas dreams behind and find joy in the collapsed gingerbread house, the lopsided angel on the top of the tree, the off-key singing of carols and the strand of lights on your house that has the top bulb burned out. The joy of Christmas is found in Jesus, not in your own perfection.

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I've been asked a couple of times to elaborate on what I put in my envelopes that help my kids serve others every day. Here's a few examples:

• Help a classmate today.
• Ring the Salvation Army bell.
• Take cookies to a neighbor.
• Find a way to help your teacher today.
• Find a way to help your sister today.
• Be an encourager today,
• Do something nice for the lunch ladies today.
• Find a way to help your mom today.
• Buy a toy and donate it to toys for tots.
• Donate some food to the food pantry.

Keep it simple and achievable. Have your kids report back to you at the end of the day how they did. If you miss a day, don't worry about it. Just start again the next day.

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I wanted to offer a few ideas on things we do at our cookie party as well. I treat it like I treat a birthday party. Obviously, we decorate cookies, which usually takes 30-45 minutes. After that, we've done a variety of things. Here are some ideas:

• Take the kids Christmas caroling around the neighborhood.
• Make aprons.
• Make Santa hats.
• Have relay races to decorate a tree or put up all the pieces of a nativity scene on the wall.
• Take pictures, print them off and let the kids make their own scrapbook page or picture frame.
• Make gingerbread house crafts.
• Talk with the kids about whose birthday Christmas is.
• Make ornaments for them to take home and hang on their tree.

Our party is usually not super elaborate, but the kids have lots of fun. Make your activities suit your kids and their friends.

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No matter what activities you choose to do with your kids this Christmas season, remember to keep the focus on Jesus. He is the reason for the season.