Summer: Teaching Integrity

This post is the last one from the summer series last week, but because of some issues with the Blogger site, it didn't get posted. Enjoy it today.

Have you ever asked your child to do something and had them promise that they will do it in a minute? If your kids are anything like mine, many times you have to ask again because your child forgot or simply chose not to obey. Besides being frustrating for parents, not following through on things your child has said he will do is an integrity issue.


Integrity is a big-sounding word that simply boils down to following through and doing what you say you will do. Learning to have integrity is so much easier when you’re young than it is when you’re grown. The consequences for lapses in integrity are much smaller at 8 years old than they are at 28 years old.

Unfortunately, integrity is sorely lacking in much of our world. We expect politicians to lie to us to get our votes. Some kids have parents who consistently tell them one thing and do another. We are sometimes surprised when a public figure actually follows through on a promise. All of these things are working against us as we try to teach our children to be girls and boys of integrity.

Wrapped up in integrity are the concepts of truthfulness, loyalty and hard work, so when you focus on integrity, you get a lot of bang for your buck. God wants us to have integrity. James 5:12 says “Above all, my brothers and sisters, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. All you need to say is a simple ‘Yes’ or ‘No.’” God doesn’t want us to spend our time talking about what we’re going to do, He wants us to do what we say. When we say “Yes” to something, He wants that to stand by itself because people will know that we will follow through.

Integrity is a great topic to spend some time on this summer, even if it’s not something with which you see your kids struggling. It’s never a bad idea to reinforce the idea that we need to follow through on the things that we say.

• Take a look at your own life. Are you displaying integrity to your kids? Do you follow through on what you say, even in the area of discipline? If you’re going to focus on integrity with your kids, then you have to be living a life of integrity yourself. If your kids hear you telling them to always follow through on their promises, yet you don’t, your kids will not believe the importance of integrity in their own lives.

• Talk with your kids about what integrity means. With younger kids, simply focus on the fact that integrity means doing what you say you will do. With older kids, talk with them about how integrity also means living our lives so that they follow God’s plan. Once we decide to become a Christ-follower, part of being a person of integrity means that we live our lives according to God’s truths and commands.

• Make this your family’s summer of integrity. Create integrity tickets. When you catch your kids following through on things they said they would do, give them a ticket. If they don’t follow through on something, make them pay you a ticket. On whatever schedule works for you, set a time to claim rewards with your tickets. You can make the tickets pay for TV or video game time or you can let your kids “purchase” some small treats or toys. Include any adults in the house in the system, so your kids can hold you accountable as well.

• Create a 3-second rule. If your kids are asked to do something, tell them they should take 3 seconds to think about their response, then give the most truthful response. You can even have them count it out loud or hold up their fingers as they count. Teaching your kids to think about their answers before they open their mouths allows them to think about how their answer will affect their integrity. Remember if you institute this rule, you’ll need to wait for your kids to respond to your requests and commands. Don’t get impatient until after you’ve counted to three.

• Make attitude a part of the lesson. If we grudgingly do what we said we were going to do, then we’re not really displaying Godly integrity. Colossians 3:23 says “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” If we’re working for God and not for man, then our hearts need to be joyful in serving the Lord. Create a joy reward for when you find your kids joyfully doing a task they normally find distasteful. If you’re using the ticket system, you can hand out extra tickets. If not, then come up with some other type of reward – extra TV time, a later bedtime, some special time with mom or dad.

Keeping the focus on integrity all summer long will hold your children accountable for doing what they say they are going to do. The three-month focus will help change attitudes and habits and will help your kids become children of integrity.

Teaching the Truth of the Bible

One summer when my oldest was three, we had a Vacation Bible School curriculum that had a Japanese theme. The story for the day was about Mary and Martha, where Martha chooses to sit at Jesus' feet instead of helping Martha with the chores. My oldest came home from church and told me they had learned about these women who lived in Japan who had met Jesus. Clearly, she was a bit confused.

This story came to mind again as I was talking to our church's preschool director on Sunday. She was telling me about some preschool curriculum she had seen on a recent trip. The DVD-based curriculum included a fictional talking donkey telling the children that the Bible is true. Now, there's nothing wrong with using stories to illustrate a point, but younger children have a hard time telling truth from fiction already. It simply confuses them to have something like a talking donkey, which most preschoolers know isn't real, explaining an important truth to young children.

Too often, we treat the Bible like a storybook -- no different from the other picture books that we read our young children. Then, we wonder why they don't accept the Bible as true. From the time kids are very young, we need to treat the Bible as a book that is true. When we teach our children about the men and women in the Bible, we need to make it a point to remind them that these aren't just stories. They are accountings of things that really happened. The people in the Bible were as real as other historical figures.

The Bible, itself, tells us that God's words are true. Psalm 119:160 says "All your words are true; all your righteous laws are eternal." The Bible is not a story. It is a book filled with truth that applies to our lives today. It's words offer wisdom, love, comfort and joy. We need to teach our children that they can rely on the truth of God's word.

• Choose your child's Bible wisely. Picture Bibles are good choices for preschoolers. My favorites are the ones that use scripture within the text. Look for a picture Bible that offers some application to your children's lives -- either through questions or additional activities. For older children, choose a Bible in a translation that is easily digested at a child's reading level. My favorite is the New International Reader's Version. Choose a Bible that includes a daily devotional aimed at your child's age level or one that includes some life application notes.
• Don't lump the Bible in with other books. Make sure your children know that the Bible is God's word. While men wrote the book, God told them what to write. With young children, every time you read the Bible with them, remind them that the Bible is true. Encourage older children to seek answers in the Bible when they are trying to make a decision or they are worried or scared. This teaches them that the Bible is a reliable source of wisdom.
• There are some places in the Bible, where the accounts seem fantastic -- there's a parting sea, the sun stopping in the sky, people being sick one minute and well the next. It may seem like just another piece of fiction to your children. When you read about one of these miracles, stop and talk with your children about how God can do anything and that everything in the Bible is true.

Much of faith is based on accepting that what God says in the Bible is true. If we start teaching our children that the Bible is true at an early age, they will recognize that the Bible is different from other books. When we hold it up as a true source of wisdom, we help our children understand that the Bible is God's word and offers us wisdom.

But, if your kids never see you reaching to the Bible as a source of wisdom, all of your teaching will be for nought. We have to act out what we're teaching. We must make sure that we are offering a children an example of trusting in the truth of the Bible as well as teach them that it is true. We must live as if the Bible is true -- because it is.

How do you help your children understand that the Bible is true? Leave a comment or join the discussion on the Everyday Truth Facebook page or follow @ldfairc on Twitter.

God of Truth

Each day in November, the Everyday Truth blog is looking at a different name for God and providing a family devotional for you to use with your kids. The goal is to keep our hearts focused on giving thanks to God during the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving.


Have you ever told a lie? Have you ever gotten caught telling a lie? How did you feel when you told the lie? How did you feel when you got caught?

Lying might seem like a good idea at the time you do it, but truth is always better. You see, the problem with lying is that once you tell one lie, a lot of times you have to tell more lies to cover up the first lie. After a while, you have so many lies that you can get confused and not even know what the truth is. Lying hurts others, and it doesn't make the person who lies feel all that great either.

Can you think of a way that telling a lie can hurt someone else? The Bible tells us that God is a God of truth. In the New King James translation of the Bible, Deuteronomy 32:4 says "He is the Rock, His work is perfect; For all His ways are justice, A God of truth and without injustice; Righteous and upright is He."

The past couple of days, we've talked about how God is unchanging and unmoveable -- like a rock. Today, we're learning that God is truth. That means He can't ever tell a lie. If God says it, then it has to be true. All of the promises in the Bible are true. When God said He loves you, He's not telling a lie. He loves you so much that He sent Jesus to die for you.

The stories about Jesus in the Bible aren't just made-up stories. They're true. We know that because God is a God of truth. When Jesus told us He is the only way to an everlasting relationship with God, it's true. God can't tell a lie.

It's important to be able to decide whether or not something is true. If we base our decisions about what is and is not true on God's truth, then we will be able to choose truth in every circumstance. The more we know about God and God's word, the easier it becomes for us to decide if something is true.

For example, let's play a little game. Have everyone in your family come up with two statements about themselves that are true, and one that is not. One at a time, tell your statements to the rest of the family and have them choose which statement is false.

How did you do? Were you able to pick out the false statements? How did you make those decisions? You probably based your decisions on what you knew about the person talking, right? The same thing is true when we're faced with a tough decision at school.

Say one of your friends says to you that it's ok to steal some candy off the teacher's desk because no one will ever know. It sounds good, right? If no one will ever find out, then what's the problem? If you know what God has to say about the subject, then you know that your friend's idea is a bad one. It's based in a lie. God says stealing is wrong -- no matter if anyone else knows about it or not. Knowing God and what He thinks about things helps you find the truth in a situation.

On your thankfulness tree leaves today, write down ways that you are thankful that God is a God of truth. It could be that knowing God is truth gives you a way to know right from wrong. Or it could be that knowing God is a God of truth gives us confidence to trust what God says. You can even be thankful that God's promises always happen. Hang your leaves on your tree.

Pray together as a family, thanking God for being a God of truth.