Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone (Part 2)

Yesterday, I wrote a post about relying on God's strength, not our own. Sometimes when I write a post, God, with His timely sense of humor, checks to see if I really practice what I preach. My morning yesterday was an excellent example of that.

I had the wonderful privilege of being invited to share with a local MOPS group yesterday. I had spent Wednesday afternoon preparing for my talk. I had some pretty handouts, a nifty PowerPoint presentation and a pretty polished presentation. I was feeling pretty good about things when I went to bed on Wednesday night.

Thursday morning, I sent my girls off to school and gathered all of my things. About 20 minutes before I needed to leave, I ran downstairs to print off my notes. To my horror, I discovered that my notes were nowhere to be found. They had disappeared into the electronic abyss.

Sitting in my chair, I looked heavenward and said "Are you serious? That verse I wrote about had better be true!" So, I sketched out a quick outline, said a fervent prayer that God would fulfill His promise in 2 Corinthians 12:9 and make His strength perfect in my weakness and went off to speak.

The morning went really well. The ladies in the MOPS group were engaging and welcoming, and not once did I feel nervous or lost as I spoke to them. I didn't give the most polished presentation. Instead, I spoke from my heart and shared some things I hadn't planned to share when I planned my talk. God showed up and you could feel His presence in the room. By the time it was over, I was actually feeling glad that God had thrown out my plan and gone with His instead.

You see, I know that God was busy yesterday, kicking the platform of my pride out from underneath my feet. He knew what those MOPS moms needed to hear, and it wasn't exactly what I had planned. He knew that I was relying on my own knowledge and ability more than I was relying on Him, so He stepped in to give both me and the MOPS moms the reminders that we needed.

Yesterday morning, I had two choices: I could rail at God and try to put my plan back together or I could surrender and go with His plan. When you're faced with those choices, I want to tell you it's always better to go with God's plan.

Ephesians 3:20 tells us "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!" God can do great things through us, but we have to get out of the way and let Him work. Sometimes he has to bring us to a place where our pride is in tatters and our choices are limited. But know this, God always shows up.

He has promised to never leave us or forsake us. When God changes our plans, He's often trying to teach us to rely on Him and let Him provide us with the strength and grace for the task. While I truly thought God was off his rocker yesterday morning, He left me with no choice but to trust in His grace and strength. When I did, He did so much more through me that I could "ask or imagine."

While I'm grateful for the lesson, I'm hoping I've learned it well enough that the notes for my talk at our church's women's retreat this weekend don't disappear into that electronic abyss as well. But if they do, I know God will show up and take charge.

If you have something that you're doing that you're relying on your own strength to tackle -- a tough parenting situation, a project at work or even a lesson you're getting ready to teach -- give it to God and ask Him to provide the grace and strength you need. Hand over your pride and watch God work.

Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone

I have a friend who has a speaking engagement this weekend. She's an amazingly talented public speaker with a heart for other women. God nearly always speaks to me through her when I hear her speak. Yet, she tells me she's never comfortable speaking to a large group of women about God. It's way outside her comfort zone.

You see, she's always afraid she doesn't know enough about the Bible to be able to answer all the questions that will come her way. She's worried that she'll get it wrong. Yet, every time she speaks, God shows up in big ways.

Every time God asks us to step outside of our comfort zone, He is stretching and growing us. He is forcing us to rely on His strength and grace, not our own. When we get out of God's way and let Him do the work, He can do amazing things.

I'm often way outside my comfort zone when I write this blog and speak to mom's groups. I'm concerned that people will look at my kids and hold them to a higher standard. I'm sometimes reluctant to share the things God tells me to share because they make me vulnerable to hundreds of people I've never met. It's always uncomfortable to stand up in front of a group of people that I don't know and share what God has given me to share.

Yet, in those times when I obey and lay my struggles and concerns on the line, God always shows up in mighty, mighty ways. He uses the moments I'm most uncomfortable to teach me the most. The more I have to rely on Him for strength and wisdom, the more room I give Him to work in my life and the lives of others.

This lesson doesn't stop with us, though. Often, our kids are asked to step outside their comfort zones. God may ask them to share their faith with their friends. He may ask them to stand up for an unpopular child in their class. He may ask them to try out for a sports team or audition for a role in a play.

We need to help our kids understand that if we never step outside our comfort zone, then we deny God a chance to use us. God is not interested in our comfort; He is interested in our character. To stretch and grow our character, He sometimes needs to make us uncomfortable.

Help your kids overcome their reluctance to step outside their comfort zone.

• Share with your kids some examples in your own life of when you stepped outside your comfort zone and God used you.
• Remind your kids that God always provides the grace and strength that we need. Share 2 Corinthians 12:9 with your kids. "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."
• Illustrate this verse by placing a large cup and a small cup on the table. Tell your kids that the cups represents days in their lives. Fill the cups to the very top with water. Tell your kids that the water represents God's grace and power. Explain that God gives us enough grace and strength for each day. Some days we need lots of grace and strength, so the cup is big. Other days, we don't need as much, so the cup is smaller. But God gives us enough grace and strength for the things we are facing that day. He doesn't overflow our cup and expect us to save some grace and strength for tomorrow or next week. He doesn't underfill our cup so we are struggling under our own power. He gives us exactly what we need for the day we are on.
• Encourage your kids not to let fear keep them from doing the things that God has asked them to do. Fear has no place in our lives, even when we are stepping outside our comfort zone. 2 Timothy 1:7 says "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline." Help your child give his fear to God and step out in faith that God will give him the power and strength he needs to step out of his comfort zone.

Remember that often it is when we are most uncomfortable that God is able to use us the best. Rely on His power and strength to step outside your comfort zone -- and watch Him do amazing things.

A Week in My Shoes

I ventured into new territory this week. For the first time in nine years, I'm working outside our home. While I've done some freelance work from home nearly the entire time I've been a stay-at-home mom, this is the first time I've taken an assignment that requires me to go into an office every day. The change in routine has been a challenge, and my hat is off to you moms who work full time. It's a whole lot harder than I thought it would be.

In this first week of work, I've enjoyed being a part of an adult group of people where I'm not defined simply by whose mom I am, and I've had a chance to use some of those skills that have gotten rusty in the past nine years. I've discovered I don't really like getting up at 5:30 in the morning to be at work by 7, and juggling school, work, soccer, hockey, Girl Scouts and church is a huge challenge. But the thing I think I like the least about working in an office is the fact that I have to wear shoes all day, every day.

It's funny that with all the changes, I would pinpoint something so small to be the thing I dislike the most. But when I thought about it, this one thing throws my whole attitude out of kilter. I can't remember the last time I had to wear shoes for eight hours a day for four days in a row. I don't much care for shoes in general. I have hard-to-fit feet, and most of the time my shoes just don't fit exactly right. Add to that the fact that I have rheumatoid arthritis, which manifests itself the worst in the balls of my feet, and you can understand why shoes are not my favorite item of clothing.

When my feet hurt, much of my focus is in figuring out how to make that pain go away. Can I sit down? Can I take my shoes off without anyone noticing? Should I wear a different pair of shoes tomorrow? If I'm expending so much mental energy dealing with this one issue, I'm not able to focus on the other things that probably need my attention more than my poor feet. Small things have the ability to pull our focus away from the more important things.

There's a perfect example of this in the story of Mary and Martha found in Luke 10:38-42. Jesus goes to visit Mary and Martha. Mary is so excited to be able to spend time with Jesus, but Martha is distracted by all the things that need to be done. In her desire to be the perfect hostess, Martha misses out on the important thing -- spending time with Jesus. Too often, our lives are so focused on the little issues -- carpools, activities, making lunches -- that we miss out on the important things -- taking time to listen, sharing Jesus with our kids, playing a silly game.

We want to teach our kids how to choose the important things in life and how not to get hung up in the little things -- the things that make their feet hurt.

• Have your kids slip on a pair of shoes that are too small. Talk about how uncomfortable the shoes feel. Point out that sometimes there are things in our lives that can make us uncomfortable and will distract us from the things that God wants us to do. We need to keep our focus on Jesus and not allow the small things that make us a little uncomfortable keep us from doing the things that God has told us to do. For example, a disagreement with your friends shouldn't keep you from treating them with love and respect. The disagreement may make things a little uncomfortable for you, but it doesn't give you the right to be mean to your friends. God still asks you to love them.
• Ask your kids what they think their three most important possessions are. These are the things that you would take with you to a deserted island. Talk with them about why these things are important to them. Go get the three things and lay them out on the table or on the floor. Ask them if they can think of anything that is more important to them than those three items. Talk about how things can be important to us, but relationships mean more. Ask them if they think things could ever be an issue in their relationship with their friends or their siblings. Talk about ways to avoid placing too much value on the things that we have.
• Turn on some background noise -- a radio or TV or both. Tell your child that you're going to tell her something important, then whisper an important message to her. See if she can pick out the message over all the noise around her. Turn off all the noise and repeat the message. Ask your child how hard it was to focus on the message with all the extra noise around her. Point out that there are lots of things competing for her attention in the world -- friends, TV, school, activities -- but the most important things are relationships with God and family and friends. If we allow the noise from all the other things in our lives to drown out the important things that God has to share with us, then we will miss out on the exciting things that God has in store for us.

As I slip my feet into my shoes and head out to work today, I'll be reminded to keep my focus on Jesus. I hope the same is true for you and your kids.

Giving Up the Good Stuff for Something Better

It's ironic that I wrote about having a healthy family yesterday because I spent all of yesterday morning in the doctor's office with my oldest. She's been having horrible pain in her heel, so much that she can barely walk. Turns out she has a condition called Sever's Syndrome, which is caused by her bones in her leg growing faster than her Achilles tendon. Wearing cleats as much as she does aggravates the tendon and causes pain. The prescribed cure is rest, ice, stretching and Advil. She's ok with the ice, stretching and Advil, but when the doctor told her she couldn't play soccer for a week, she looked the doctor in the eye and said "That is unacceptable."

In thinking over that response, besides the fact that it makes me smile, it made me wonder how often we tell God that something that He asks us to do is "unacceptable." We tend to get settled in our own comfort zone, busy with whatever activities to which we feel God has called us, and think that we should stay there -- forever. Sometimes God wants to use our service in certain ministries and activities to prepare us for the next thing He has planned, but when He asks us to move on, we tell him "That is unacceptable." When we do that, not only are we missing out on the blessings that God has for us in the new task He has for us, but we are robbing someone else of the opportunity to be blessed by taking over the role we are leaving behind.

It's important that we train our children that when they leave one thing behind, they are simply making room for more blessings. My youngest daughter and I gave up Girl Scouts this year. I was her troop leader, and I really enjoyed it, but she decided that Girl Scouts was not for her. She wanted more time to do other things, like play hockey. While it was a tough decision to make, looking at our schedule this fall, I can see that God moved that off our schedule so that both she and I would have time for other things that He had in mind.

When you or your child has a tough decision to make about activities or ministries, take a deep breath and work through it together.

• Pray about it. Remember Philippians 4:6 says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, bring your requests to God." God wants to hear about how torn you are over the decision. He wants to be able to show you what He has planned for you. Pray with your child so he has an example of how to pray about his decisions.
• Remind your child that even though it may seem she is leaving behind something that is good, she is replacing it with something that is better. If God calls you to do something, it is always better than doing something you are not called to do. Illustrate this by giving your child a piece of watermelon or some other fruit that they like. Ask them what they like about the watermelon. Then, offer to trade their watermelon for a slice of chocolate cake or other sweet treat. Ask them if they would be willing to trade the watermelon, which they probably think is good, for the chocolate cake, which they will probably think is better. You can do this illustration with food or trading a small toy for a larger one. Be sure to emphasize that sometimes God asks us to trade something that we think is good for something that He knows is better.
• Seek outside counsel. If you or your child feel like you are being called to do something different, ask other Christians what they think about the idea. Usually, God will confirm what He has called you to do through the wise counsel of others. Encourage your children to ask the opinions of other trusted adults -- their children's director, their Sunday School teacher or the Christian parent of a friend who knows them well. Learning to seek wise counsel at a young age will help them when they are faced with big decisions later in life.

Most importantly, remember that when God calls, He expects us to follow. Don't let your or your child's fear of leaving your comfort zones have you saying to God "That is unacceptable." You don't want to miss out on the blessings He has for you.