5 Things Moms Rarely Hear

I had myself a little pity party yesterday. Not 20 minutes after I put on my mommy hat (which comes after my blogger hat every morning), my husband had "suggested" (his words) that our room could use a little cleaning and my oldest daughter had not so gently reminded me that she needs a haircut.

Looking around my house as I did the piles of laundry, made lunches, combed hair and cleaned up after everyone, I had a classic pity party. It included tears, mumbles of "why don't they see how much I actually do around here?" and some not very charitable thoughts toward the other members of my household. In the midst of my mumbling and grumbling I started making a list of the things moms rarely hear.

1. "Thanks for making sure I have clean clothes." We're more likely to hear, "Why isn't my favorite sweatshirt clean?" or "I'm out of underwear."

2. "That was a great dinner. I especially enjoyed my vegetables." If you have more than one person at the table, you can almost be assured someone isn't going to like something you fixed. We're more likely to hear, "Eww. What is that?" or "Do we have to have this again?"

3. "Thanks for taking me to my practice." We're more likely to hear "Do I have to go to practice?"

4. "Thank you for teaching me responsibility by giving me chores to do." After nagging to get the chores done, we're more likely to hear, "I vacuumed last week. It's her turn."

5. "Thank you for keeping the house clean and picked up." We're more likely to hear, "I can't find my shoe. What did you do with it?"

We've all been there, haven't we? Sitting in a place where it seems everyone else's needs come before our own and no one, and I mean no one, appreciates what we are doing. Our tasks are no longer a labor of love but simply something we have to do instead of doing the things we really want to do. It's on those days when we want to throw up our hands, walk out the door and head for a beach in the Caribbean for a couple of weeks.

My pity party yesterday led me to this realization: Parenting requires sacrifice. It requires us to stay and do the laundry instead of walking out the door. It means we get up every morning, make the lunches, comb the hair, offer sage advice, help with the homework, change the diapers and wipe the snotty noses when we'd rather be doing just about anything else. Sacrifice means we give up late nights, evenings out and much of our own identity to nurture and love these little people who have come into our lives.

Lucky for us, God knows all about sacrifice as a parent. He gave up His Son for us. He did it willingly so that there would no longer be a barrier between us and Him. Hebrews 10:10 says "we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all." I'm not suggesting that we sacrifice our children for others, but I am suggesting that when God asks us to sacrifice for our kids, He knows what He's talking about. He's an expert when it comes to sacrifice as a parent.

I'm not going to tell you that this revelation on sacrifice suddenly made my day perfect. I was still a little disgruntled with my family when they came home. But it did offer some perspective. It made me realize that no matter how much I sacrifice for my family (my time, my energy, things I love to do), I can never match the sacrifice my heavenly Father made for me.

While I would love to hear those things on my list, I know that the sacrifices I'm making today will result in God-honoring kids in the future. When my kids are grown, I'll have plenty of meals at my table where no one complains. Someday, I won't be tripping over four pairs of shoes in the living room.

The next time you're making a list in your head of all the things you've sacrificed, remember those sacrifices now will pay dividends later. Even if no one else recognizes the sacrifice, God sees, and He's pleased. And when your kids have children, you'll be amazed at how much they appreciate all that you did.

Do you know a mom that could use some encouragement today? Take a minute to share this list with her to offer her a boost.

September Blues

It's September. For most of my life, that meant my fingernails were chewed back to the nubs, and every night God heard a prayer of "Please don't let them blow it." But seven years ago that all changed. September became a month of joyful anticipation. Until last night.

You see, I'm a lifelong Red Sox fan. For 30 years, I expected my team to blow it. No matter how big the lead or how safe it seemed, the Red Sox would find a way to screw it up. Then, in 2004, the moment we Red Sox fans had waited 86 years for finally came. We won the World Series. Eight and a half decades of frustration, nail biting and fervent pleas for a win disappeared in a four-game sweep. Three years later they did it again.

We thought the days of biting our nails and praying for just one more win were over. Until last night. When September started, the Red Sox were up nine games. They were a shoe-in for the playoffs. Then their bats went silent, and their pitching disappeared. They lost and they lost and they lost. It all came down to last night -- a win and they would at least get to play a one-game playoff; a loss and they would have to hope the Tampa Bay Rays lost, too.

The Red Sox took a one run lead into the ninth inning. They were one strike away from living to play another day when disaster struck. Two base hits, and the Orioles had won the game. The Rays beat the Yankees. Season over. It feels like the past seven years never happened. Only the Red Sox could have such an epic collapse in September. No team has ever had such a big lead at the beginning of September and not made the playoffs.

So, this morning, I'm bleary-eyed and a bit sad. And I'm reminded that life is too often like a Red Sox season -- full of promise until the losses come our way. When we're in the midst of a great season, we forget what the tough times look like. And when the tough times come, it's hard to remember the good times.

We go through seasons in life where we think we have it all together, we step up to the plate and we whiff again and again and again. We feel like we're in a hole so deep, we'll never climb out. One thing after another goes wrong -- kids get sick, jobs are lost, family issues arise. The success we felt a short time before disappears, and it seems we'll never get it back. Our joyful expectation disappears as quickly as a Red Sox lead.

Kids, especially have a hard time seeing past the immediate moment. When our kids are stuck in the middle of a tough situation that seems like it has no end, it's hard to get them to look past the situation to see that God has a plan.

Yet, we have something no baseball team has ever had -- the best clean-up hitter ever. God is always there to pick us up and walk us through the dark season. He's already won the ultimate game. He's triumphed over death and evil. No matter the outcome of our day, the winner has already been determined. It's God, and He's on our side.

Romans 8:31 says "If God is for us, who can be against us?" In this big game of life that we play every day, God is for us. He's the superstar on our team, and He never whiffs. While it may seem there's no way we're going to win, God is there, and He's going to carry our team.

God doesn't always step in and hit it out of the park, so we can get the result we want. But He provides everything we need to see us through the dark periods of our lives. He offers us comfort and direction and the assurance that all things will work out according to His plan, which is always in our favor. We can't always see that in the moment, but often we look back and we see that His plan was way better than anything we could come up with.

So, live today with the assurance that God is on your team, and He never loses. Remind your kids that no matter the outcome of a tough situation, God has already won, and since we're on His team, so have we.

This is the Stuff

Yesterday was an exercise in frustration. From the moment I got up yesterday morning, it seemed that everything was conspiring to frustrate me. I teach two Bible studies on Wednesday, the girls have a host of activities and I still had some work to get done. Before I even got out the door yesterday morning, my phone had rung four times with different problems that needed to be solved, my printer wasn't working to print of my stuff for my study and I realized when I got to church that I had left half the stuff I needed to copy at home.

When I got in the car to head to church, I was so frustrated that I threw up my hands and yelled at God, "Arrghh! Do you have a plan for today? Because this isn't working for me."

You know what? Nothing terrible happened to me yesterday, and God showed up in the studies I taught in a big way. The things that kept frustrating me yesterday weren't crises; they were simply annoyances. But there were enough annoyances that I allowed them to frustrate me almost to the point of not being able to do the things that God had planned for yesterday.

Lucky for me, when I got to church, some friends realized I wasn't having the greatest morning. Not only did they help me get everything ready, but they took the time to pray with me and remind me that it's not the stuff that happens to us that matters -- it's how God uses it. They reminded me that 2 Corinthians 12:9 tells us "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."

It's when I am weak, that God can use me because I have to rely solely on His strength, not my own. When the little moments of life frustrate us to the point of throwing up our hands and yelling at God, that's when God can use us -- if we let Him.

Frustrations can get to our kids, too. Sometimes my oldest will come home from school in a funk. She can't point to any one thing that is bothering her, but just a whole bunch of little stuff. When our kids get overwhelmed by the "stuff" in their lives, we need to show them how to let God use their weakness to make them strong.

Try this illustration with your kids. Give them something really light to lift, and something really heavy (make sure they can lift it, but make it be a struggle). Have your kids lift each item. As they struggle to lift the heavy thing, ask them if others would think they were strong if they watched them struggle to lift it. As they lift the lighter item, ask them the same question. When they are done, talk about how others can see God's strength more when we're weak. It's like lifting a feather or an empty bag. God's strength is so much more than ours, but if we are trying to do things in our own strength, then it's tough for God to "pick us up" and for others to see His strength.

When the little stuff of life overwhelms us, we need to remember that our strength comes from God, and He is made perfect in our weakness. Turn that "stuff" over to Him, and let Him use you in ways you never thought possible.

Lessons from Linus

As I've sat at home this week nursing a sick 7-year-old (who, by the way, is still sick, and her sister has a snow day), we've been reading a lot of Peanuts comic strips. We have a big book that contains thousands of the comic strips, and my daughter loves to read them.

So, we've been climbing up in our big recliner, sharing a blanket and reading them together. Tuesday we ran across a strip about Linus and his blanket. Linus tells Charlie Brown "This blanket absorbs all my fears and frustrations. At the end of each day I shake it out the door, thus scattering those fears and frustrations to the wind!" Charlie Brown asks him, "What about tomorrow?" Linus replies, "Tomorrow I start with a clean blanket. Not unlike the proverbial clean slate."

You know, Linus has the right idea. Carrying our fears and frustrations around with us creates a heavy weight. The more fears and frustrations we carry, the heavier the load gets. But we have something better than Linus' security blanket. We have God. Peter tells us "Cast all your anxiety on Him for He cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7).

God loves us, and He knows that carrying around fears, frustrations and worries does nothing but cause us harm. Fears, frustrations and worries keep us focused on the unimportant things and not on the things of God. We need to be like Linus, shaking out our figurative blankets and letting God handle our fears and frustrations. When we choose to worry over our fears and frustrations, we're telling God that we don't trust Him to handle them. We choose to carry the burden by ourselves instead of letting God carry them for us.

Teach your kids to cast their cares on God, so they aren't weighted down by them.

• Deal with your own tendency to worry and carry your own fears and frustrations. Ask God to remind you to turn those fears and frustrations over to Him. Children copy what they see. If your children see you worry, they are likely to worry, too. If they see you take your cares and concerns to God, they will take their cares and concerns to God.
• Give your kids a physical way to get rid of their fears and frustrations. Have them write down their concerns on a piece of paper. Then, pray with them about each of their concerns. After praying, have them rip up the paper and throw it away. Talk with them about how ripping up the paper is symbolic of letting God have their fears and frustrations. They have turned them over to God, so we don't want to take them back and carry that heavy load all by ourselves again.
• Gather some rocks. Give your child a Sharpie. Let him write a fear, frustration or worry on each rock. When he is done, put the rocks in a bag and have him carry the rocks around. Talk about how our worries are like rocks. When we try to carry them by ourselves, they get heavy and affect everything in our lives. Now, have your child give you the bag of rocks. Walk around for a bit with your child. Ask your child how it feels to walk without the rocks compared to walking with them. Talk about how much better it is to give our worries to God and let Him deal with them instead of carrying them around and letting them weigh us down.

Like Linus, we can start each day with a "clean blanket." All we have to do is turn our fears and frustrations over to God.