A Second Chance

The other night we went to school for sneak-a-peek night where the girls got to check out their classrooms and drop off their school supplies. We always find out who their teachers are before school ends in May, so the big event of the night for the girls is to find out with whom they will be sitting.

When we walked into my youngest daughter's classroom, she was dismayed to discover she was sitting next to a little boy that she remembered from first grade. In first grade, this little boy's behavior had been less than stellar, so my youngest was a bit apprehensive about sitting next to him again.

After shushing her disappointment in the classroom, the subject came up again when we got home. I reminded her that she didn't know how this little boy had behaved last year and that he may have changed a lot in a year. We talked about how important it was to give him a chance before labeling him based on his past behavior. She was skeptical, but she agreed. We prayed about it both before she went to bed and before she left for school yesterday.

When she came home after a half day of school, the first thing she had to say was, "You were right, mom, he has changed."

As our kids start a new school year, it's important to remind them to give other kids a chance. Whether it's a new kid in class or a child with a past reputation, we want our kids to go into the classroom with an attitude of acceptance.

Too often kids get pigeon-holed into a certain segment of childhood society early in their lives. It can be difficult to change the perceptions of other children and, sometimes, even adults. It's not fair, and it can hurt.

God always gives us a second chance. He's always ready to forgive us and renew a relationship with us. Jesus sought out people with whom the rest of society wouldn't give the time of day. He hung out with prostitutes, tax collectors, lepers and criminals. He saw past the reputation to the heart beneath. He never doubted that people could change.

Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:22-24 that anyone can be made new in Christ. We can shed the old self and put on the new. "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."

Help your kids carry an attitude of acceptance through the school doors this year.

• Pray with your kids about any relationships that concern them. It may be a child they have had trouble with in the past or it may be a new child.
• Read the story of Zacchaeus with your kids from Luke 19:1-9. Talk about how Jesus could have ignored Zacchaeus because of his reputation. Zacchaeus was a tax collector and a cheat. No one liked him, yet Jesus sought him out. He knew there was more to Zacchaeus than what was on the surface. Remind your kids that anyone can change, and it's important to give people a second chance.
• Remind your child of a time when they changed for the better. All of us have failed in our attitude or actions. By reminding your child of how much they have changed over a period of time, you help them to see that others can change as well.
• Encourage your child to include anyone who wants to play in their games on the playground. It's easy for kids to become exclusionary. Encouraging a policy of including everyone in their play opens up opportunities for other children to take part and become part of a group.

It's hard to persuade people to change their opinions. No matter how much a person has changed, those first impressions leave lasting impressions. Encourage your kids to give other children a second chance. Because God gives us one.

What's in a Name?

Before my girls were born, my husband and I spent hours pondering what name to give our unborn child. It's your first big responsibility as a parent -- choosing a name that your child will carry with them for the rest of their lives. You have to factor in all the nicknames a name could create as well as how well it goes with your last name. Do you want to choose a family name or go with something trendy? Will it bother you or your child if four other kids in her class have the same name? With our oldest, we came to an agreement pretty quickly on both a boy and a girl name. With our second child, though, we were at the hospital having her, and we still didn't have a boy name we could agree on. Good thing she was a girl.

Our names identify who we are. Our first names identify which person we are within a family. Our last names identify that family. I'll never forget being told when I walked out the door one day as a teenager "Remember who you are and whose you are." My parents wanted me to remember that I was a Briley. Whatever I did reflected back on my family. They also wanted me to remember that I belonged to God. Whatever I did reflected on God. Those are big responsibilities to carry, but it's an idea that we want to instill in our children.

Proverbs 22:1 says "A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold." We want our children to recognize that having a good reputation -- one that glorifies God is more important than being popular or being part of the "in" crowd. When choices have to be made, we want them to recognize that choosing God's way and being known for that may not be the popular choice, but it is the one that will help them hold on to their "good name."

Use some pop culture to help your children understand this concept.

• Choose a few people or characters with which your children are familiar. Try to choose people that are known for something, for example, Hannah Montana might be known for her singing or her TV show. You can choose sports stars, actors or actresses or even cartoon characters, whatever appeals to your child. Name the person or character and ask your child what they are known for. Ask them if they think being known for that particular thing is good or bad. Get them to explain their answer. Ask them if they would want to be known for that particular thing. Ask them if they think God would be happy if they were known for that. There may be no right or wrong answers, but it's a great way to get your kids talking about the types of things for which they want to be known.
• Read Proverbs 22:1 and talk about what it means. Discuss with your kids how difficult it is to change your reputation once you are known for something. If you have a story of how your reputation for something caused problems in your life, share it with your kids. Be real and let them know that you aren't always perfect.

As you discuss this topic with your kids be sure to remind them that even though people are sometimes known for one certain thing that doesn't mean that they are that way all the time. People can change, sometimes for the better, sometimes not. God can effect the biggest changes in people, so though our reputations may precede us, we need to remember that God can change people's hearts and attitudes. It's not our place to judge others; we simply need to make sure our actions glorify God.