Turning Drudgery Into Love

My husband got up yesterday morning and reminded me he had to leave early for work as he walked out the door for his run. His reminder was so I wouldn't forget to make his lunch first. "Why can't he make his own lunch?" I thought, as I hurried through writing my blog so I could get done in time to make his lunch.

My youngest daughter announced in the grocery store yesterday that she no longer liked the lunch I had been fixing her, and she wanted something else. "Really?" I thought. "Isn't it enough that I make your lunch every day?"

My oldest daughter was unhappy from the moment she woke up yesterday after a restless night. She woke up in tears and went to bed in tears. "Why are you crying now?" I thought as I tucked her in last night.

By the time everyone went to bed, all I wanted to do was sit in a quiet corner. Two overtired children had made for a difficult evening. One was bouncing off the walls; the other was weeping at the drop of a hat.

I really didn't feel like serving my family yesterday. I wanted someone else to make lunches, make dinner, file papers and clean up the kitchen. Just once, I wanted to go through the day without having to pick up a mess that someone else had made. Just once, I'd like to walk through the family room without tripping over someone else's shoes.

It's the little things, like those shoes, that trip us up when it comes to taking care of our families. While it's not wrong to want our families to help out around the house, having a me-first attitude isn't what God has in mind for us.

Jesus gave us an example of how to be a servant leader when He washed His disciples' feet, a job usually reserved for the lowliest servant in the household. Washing other people's feet is a disgusting job, especially when those people either went barefoot all the time or wore sandals. I think it's way more disgusting than cleaning the toilets or picking up dirty underwear off the floor.

After He was done washing their feet, He said "Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet" (John 13:14). Jesus set an example of how to serve, by taking on the lowliest task of the day, then asked us to follow His example.

We don't always enjoy serving our families. Many parents work full- or part-time, then come home to deal with everything that goes into keeping a family on track -- homework, housework, activities. The grind can become old, and we can start to resent our families, especially when they're acting less than grateful for our effort.

But God sees our service, and He smiles. He looks down on you every time you encourage a child when you would rather throw up our hands and walk away. He sees the lunches you make and the bathrooms you scrub. He sees the piles of laundry you fold and the miles you drive to take your kids places.

When we look at all of these things as acts of service to our families, we gain a different perspective. They're no longer chores. They become acts of love.

The day in-day out grind of life can wear us down. Ask God before you get out of bed each morning to show you how to best serve your family each day. Ask Him to help you view those distasteful or tedious chores as an opportunity to show your family you love them through your service to them.

Serving our families follows Jesus' example, and it shows our kids that service and love go hand in hand. By serving one another out of love, we give our kids a visual picture of what Jesus did when He washed His disciples' feet. And that picture is worth more than any words you can speak on the subject.

How can you serve your family today?

Summer: Fighting the Entitlement Monster

Have you ever told your child that the world does not revolve around him? It probably came as shocking news to him. Kids are born thinking they are at the center of everything and everyone else's needs should be secondary to their own. And this idea is simply reinforced in the first year or so of their lives when they're unable to do much for themselves and the household really does revolve around their needs.

Imagine the shock it must be for a child to hear the word "No" for the first time. You've spent the past nine months catering to their needs and all of sudden, you're telling them they can't have something they want. It must be a shock to their selfish little system.

As our kids grow, it can become really easy for them to focus only on their own wants and needs. My family lives in the richest county in Kansas. We're located right next door to the poorest county in Kansas. The difference is striking, but many kids who live here have no idea of the poverty that exists just 20 miles away. They have no idea that there are kids going to bed hungry every night just minutes from their doorstep.

My kids and many of the kids I know begin to foster a sense of entitlement from a young age. They think the world owes them things. If they want something, they expect to have it handed to them, preferably on a silver platter. It's not a pretty sight to see.

If you are noticing a sense of entitlement in your own kids, summer is a great time to work on changing that attitude. With the extra time in the schedule, you can broaden your child's horizons and help them realize that there are children in the world who live with a lot less than what your kids have.

The best way to combat entitlement is to get your hands dirty and get your kids serving others who are less fortunate than they are. Make your summer a summer of service -- in big and small ways -- and by the time your kids go back to school, they'll have a different perspective on the world.

• Battling the entitlement monster takes time and planning, so sit down with your calendar and find some open dates. Mark those off as days of service. Explain to your kids that you're going to spend some days this summer helping other people. Ask your kids what types of projects they would like to take on. The more involved they are in the planning, the more interested they will be in serving.
• Take a proactive approach at home to not feed the entitlement monster. It's OK to treat your kids to something special every once in a while, but saying "No" is good for your child's character. Make your kids earn their own money to buy things that they want. Make sure your kids understand how much things cost and that things like playing sports and going to the movies are privileges, not rights.
• Talk with your kids about how there are people not far from where you live that may not have enough food to eat or a place to sleep every night. Explain that God has called us to take care of the poor and even promises to bless us if we do. Proverbs 22:9 says "A generous man will himself be blessed, for he shares his food with the poor."
• Choose some ways you can serve others this summer and curb the sense of entitlement in your kids:
• Organize a food drive in your neighborhood. Have your kids create fliers and talk to their friends about donating food. Then let your kids take the food to a local food pantry. Arrange ahead of time for the someone at the food pantry to talk with your kids about what the food pantry does.
• Take cookies to a nursing home and visit with some of the residents. Let your kids know that focusing on others doesn't have to be expensive or take a lot of time. It's simply a matter of putting others' needs above their own.
• Check with your local children's hospital to see if there's a way that your kids can volunteer or donate supplies. Seeing children their own age in tough situations always gives kids a different perspective.
• Check with a local homeless shelter to see if there's something your family can do to help out. A great experience for older kids is to help serve a meal at a homeless shelter.
• Have your kids organize a book drive for a school or charity. Last summer, my girls learned that just 20 minutes from our door there are kids growing up without a single book in their homes. Having books in the home is a huge predictor of how successful a child will be in school. Organizing a book drive is simple, and people usually have books just lying around that they're happy to pass on.
• Get your kids looking for ways to serve other people in their everyday lives. Encourage them to look for simple ways to serve their friends and family. Give out an award each week for the best act of service during your everyday lives.
• Create care packages for servicemen and women who are deployed. Ask around. Someone you know probably knows a deployed service person. Help your kids put together a box for that person and send it to them.
• Be creative. You know where your kids are struggling with entitlement. Target those issues with your activities and discussions.

With a little planning, a lot of discussion and a determined focus, you can start fighting back against the entitlement monster this summer. Creating a heart for others that shows up in serving others can be your goal for the summer. By the time your kids head back to school, they'll have a new attitude.

Acts of Service

A new hockey stick, a couple of Wii games, some art supplies and a new soccer ball. These are the Christmas dreams in the Fairchild house. The lists from my girls this year are reasonable and mostly practical, but some years the lists are long and imaginative. Somehow, this season that should be all about giving often becomes all about getting.

That's why we try to spend the month of December focusing on how we can help others. As winter closes in with its cold and snow, there are people without coats or even homes. The average age of a homeless person in our region is 7 years old. Can you imagine being a homeless child?

Food pantries typically run low on food at this time of the year, and some kids will go without Christmas presents because mom and dad can't afford them. Your kids need to know that they are fortunate, and they also need to know that we are called to take care of those who are less fortunate than us.

From the very beginning, God was clear that we are to help others. In Deuteronomy 15:7, God tells the Israelites "If anyone is poor among your fellow Israelites in any of the towns of the land the LORD your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward them." We, too, are to have open hands and hearts toward those who have less than we have. Proverbs 19:17 tells us "Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward them for what they have done."

If God thinks the poor are important, then so should we. And this time of the year is the perfect time to help your children learn to serve others. Their acts of service don't have to be big or expensive, but they can be. Encourage your children to think of others this Christmas season. Show them how to be the hands and feet of Christ to others.

• Sign up to ring the Salvation Army bell somewhere in your community. The Salvation Army feeds and houses those who need food and shelter year-round, but their biggest fundraiser is those red kettles in front of the stores at Christmas. Even if it's cold out when you ring, it's a great opportunity to point out to your kids that while you get to go home and get warm afterward, the people the Salvation Army helps may not have homes to go to.
• Adopt a family. Let your kids shop for another child's Christmas wishes. You'll be surprised at how generous your kids will want to be.
• Help fill a food pantry. Take your kids to the grocery with a local food pantry's wish list and let them choose the items to buy. Then take the items to the food pantry.
• Create a service advent calendar. We have envelopes for every day of December until Christmas that hang on a ribbon banner. Each envelope contains a notecard with a suggestion for some way that the girls can serve someone that day. Yesterday, the card told them to help a classmate. Today's card tells them to find a way to help their coach, as both girls have practice today.
• Take cookies to a nursing home or to your local fire station or police station.
• Let your children serve kids who are younger than them at a Christmas event at your church.

However you can focus your kids on helping others this month, do it. It can be big or small. Simply getting your kids to focus on other people can keep your kids' Christmas wishes reasonable and give them a chance to obey God's commands to take care of the needy. Make this month, a month of service to others in your home.