Memory Monday: Don't Judge (Romans 14:13)

My kids are out of school today, so I'm taking the day off from blogging. I'm re-running my Halloween post from last year because I think at this time of the year, it's important to keep our hearts from judging others.

There's some strange-looking kids in the Fairchild house today. My youngest has been transformed into Alex Ovechkin (the hockey player) and my oldest is looking a bit like a Harry Potter character. Halloween is today, and we'll be heading out to trick-or-treat.

It always seems when we hit this time of the year that divisions appear in the ranks of Christ followers. Some see nothing wrong with letting their kids trick or treat on Halloween while others want nothing to do with the holiday. Each side has good reasons for their decisions and can use scripture to back up those decisions.

The debate generally continues straight through Christmas with the discussions about whether including Santa Claus in your Christmas celebrations detracts from Jesus. Many times these divisions within the ranks of Christian parents can cause hurt feelings.

In our house, we trick or treat on Halloween, and Santa makes a visit to our home on Christmas Eve. But I have friends who do neither, and some who don't trick or treat but think Santa is OK. So, who's right and who's wrong? In my opinion, no one.

The Bible is really clear about some things -- murder is wrong, Christ is the only way to God, and Jesus died for our sins. However, it gives no clear direction on other things, like Santa and Halloween. In my opinion, you should do whatever you feel is best for your family, making sure you base your decisions on time spent in prayer and God's word.
What we should not do, though, is judge others who may think differently. When Christ followers start judging each other on things on which there is no clear-cut answer, we break up the unity of the body of Christ.

Today's verse speaks directly to that issue. "Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way" (Romans 14:13). Our understanding of what causes a stumbling block to another person may differ, but if each of us is, to the best of our ability, trying to follow what God is telling us, then we have no right to judge one another.

This passage of scripture was addressing a difference of opinion over what foods to eat. Some people believed that Christians should only eat "clean" foods listed in the Law, while others believed that all food was permissible. The controversy was causing great division in the church. The problem was not the food, but the judgmental nature of the Christ-followers on each side of the issue.

While the points of division have changed, the problem remains among Christ-followers today. As we head toward the holiday season, starting with Halloween, keep this verse in your heart. Remember that while you may differ with another Christ-follower in how you approach the holidays, you are not to judge them. Instead, we are called to love each other.

Healthy debate of the issue is great and thought-provoking for all parties. Judgmental condemnation over an issue like this is hurtful and divisive. If you agree on the important stuff -- Christ died to bridge the gap between our sinful selves and God, and He is the only way to God -- then judging someone else on the small stuff serves no purpose.

So, whether you will have hockey players and literary characters wandering your home or you will be ignoring the day altogether, be loving and respectful of those Christ-followers who make a different choice than you.

Memory Monday: Training Pays Off (Proverbs 22:6)

My youngest daughter's team lost its hockey game this weekend by one goal. (Yes, we're still playing hockey in May). Her team outplayed the other team and really should have won. But they didn't because their goalie is just learning to play hockey.

I think hockey is one of the toughest sports to play. After all, you have to do everything on a sheet of ice. Just standing up and holding onto your stick is an accomplishment when you first start playing. Add pounds and pounds of goalie gear and the fact that everyone is aiming that frozen piece of rubber at you, and I have no idea why anyone signs up to play goalie. Learning to be a goalie is tough, and you're pretty much guaranteed that you will cost your team a few games as you learn.

That's what happened on Saturday. My daughter's team's goalie stopped some really tough shots, which was a huge accomplishment. And he let some easy ones into the goal. In the end, it was those easy shots that sunk her team.

You probably know by now that if there's one thing my youngest daughter hates, it's losing. I really think she would rather cheat than lose. (Yes, we're working on that.) She's also not known for holding her tongue when she's upset about losing.

I fully expected to have to shush her in the locker room and have to talk with her about being encouraging to others on her team, even when they lose. So, imagine my surprise (and joy) when the first thing out of her mouth after the game was "You know, mom, our goalie made some really good saves."

I was more proud of her in that moment than I was of any goal she's gotten this season or any great play she's made on the ice. Despite her disappointment in losing, she was able to see that her team's goalie was improving and to celebrate that fact. I watched her during one of her shifts on defense go over and congratulate her team's goalie after he made a good stop.

These aren't things that come naturally to her. They are qualities that are taught and nurtured. Two years ago, her first reaction would have been to get upset about losing on an easy goal. Saturday, she wasn't happy about losing, but she was able to offer grace to someone else and focus on what he was doing well. That's a big accomplishment for her.

It's moments like these that make all the teaching, all the discipline and all the effort that it takes to be a parent worth it. This week's verse talks about the importance of training our children. Proverbs 22:6 says "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." Training our children pays dividends in their actions.

When our children make a shift in their attitudes and actions, it's a much bigger accomplishment than if they score a goal or make a great play. Because their actions toward others are a reflection of what's in their hearts. It's those hearts that we want to touch. It's those hearts that we want our kids to let God fill up with His love and His grace, so they can pour that love and grace out on others. When that happens, it's worth celebrating.
 
Starting tomorrow, we're going to spend the rest of the week looking at ways to be intentional teaching your kids certain topics this summer. Last week, I asked for suggestions of topics. So far, I've got money, humility and respect. Shoot me an email, leave a comment on the blog or on the Facebook page if you have any other topics you'd like the blog to tackle.

Memory Monday: Growing Up

My oldest daughter turns 10 in a month. She is a beautiful girl who is turning into a lovely young lady. Lately, we've been having a few conversations about the changes her body will go through in the next few years. We had one the other day that I found especially revealing. It ended with her saying, "I don't want to grow up."

Changing bodies can be a scary time for kids. Some of the stuff that's heading their way sounds yucky and different. With growing up come more hygiene responsibilities and a whole host of new emotions. It's easy for kids to be scared.

Yet, all of the changes are part of God's amazing plan for us. No matter what stage our bodies are in -- whether it's pre-puberty, post-pregnancy or menopausal -- they are performing how God created them to perform. Those changes may be scary, and they may make us feel uncomfortable in our own skin, but they are still beautiful.

I know that eight years after having my last baby, I still have several pounds I'd like to shed. Ever since I hit the grand old age of 35, my metabolism doesn't work like it once did. I have pounds that have moved around to new places and clothes in my closet that most likely will never fit again. I have to work harder to keep weight off. What I'm experiencing is no different than what  my daughter is going through, facing the impending changes in her own body. And, there are days when I want to throw up my hands and announce "I don't want to grow up" too.

But the truth is that God made our bodies, and He thinks they're beautiful. Genesis 1:27 says "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Memorize this verse with your kids this week. Knowing from an early age that we are made in the image of a perfect God can help take away some of the fear associated with a changing body.

We need to remind our kids that their bodies are working just as God designed. And what He designed is beautiful. We can and should start this process when our kids are young, so that when they face changes in the design of their bodies, they have a sense of self-worth that is rooted in the fact that they are beautiful in God's eyes -- not in whether they look like an air-brushed model on the cover of a magazine.

• When your kids are young, make it a point to focus on the non-physical aspects of who they are. It's OK for kids to like to look nice, but it's not OK for that to become a focal point of who they are. Try to compliment them on character qualities like being nice to others, truthfulness and unselfishness more than you focus on their physical attributes.
• For older kids, buy a few of those fashion magazines. Lay them out on the table and ask them to flip through the magazines. Ask them what they think of the actors and models featured in the magazines. Ask them if they think that's how those people really look. Use a photo of a familiar person or animal and change it in a photo editing program. Show your kids how easy it is to change the appearance of someone with photo editing software. Emphasize that what they see on a magazine cover is rarely what a person looks like in real life. Comparing ourselves to those unrealistic images isn't healthy because it's not an achievable look without the help of some judicious editing.
• When you begin to have discussions with your children about how their bodies are changing, keep at the forefront of their minds that all of this is normal and designed by God. As you begin your discussions, get a pot, some dirt and a flower seed. Together over the course of a few weeks, watch the flower grow. Talk about how the flower changes as it grows. Remind your child that without those changes, the plant would never become a beautiful flower. Tell your child they are just like that flower -- going through changes that will result in beauty.
• Watch your words. Be careful how you talk about your own body. If you have girls, you are instilling in them an example of how they should think about their bodies. If you have boys, you are setting up expectations for how they should view the female body. What you say about your own physical image counts when it comes to your kids. Act like your body is designed in the image of God, so your children will believe you when you encourage them in how they view their bodies.

The change from little girl or little boy to young woman or young man brings with it some excitement and some fear. Knowing that God made their bodies to work this way, makes the whole process a whole lot less scary.

Memory Monday: A Celebration

This week at Everyday Truth, we're celebrating Easter with a family devotional each day. Each one is designed to be used with your kids to take a look at a different aspect of the Easter story.

Today is my youngest daughter's birthday. When she went to bed last night, today looked like a happy day. She has birthday treats to take to school, and we were going to go shopping for a new bedspread and decorations for her room for her birthday present after school.

Then, she was up half the night with a horrible headache. She woke up this morning with a sore throat. Unless she makes a huge recovery in the next hour, it looks like we'll be spending her birthday in pajamas, curled up on the couch watching movies.

This is not the birthday I would have predicted for her yesterday as she ran around with her friends at her birthday party. It was a day of fun and celebration. Lots of smiles and laughter were had while celebrating her life.

Can you think of a time when you were expecting something good and something different happened? How did you feel? Did anything good end up coming of the different thing that happened?


That's what happened at the very beginning of the last week of Jesus' life. He entered Jerusalem to much joy. People lined the streets and laid palm branches on the ground as He passed by. They celebrated his arrival. They shouted and celebrated. Matthew 21:9 says "The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted, 'Hosanna to the Son of David! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest heaven!'”

By the end of the week, things would be different -- not at all what an onlooker would have predicted as they watched the celebration as Jesus entered the city. Those same people that had celebrated Jesus' arrival into Jerusalem would be demanding His death. This man who had been celebrated as He entered the city would be handed over to the Roman authorities, beaten and sentenced to die on a cross. It was a scenario that would have been unthinkable just a few days before.

As you think about Jesus' entrance into Jerusalem and how quickly things changed during the week, remember that Jesus was not what the Jews of the day expected. The Jews of that time were living under Roman rule, which meant they had to follow Roman laws and they didn't have a lot of freedom. The prophecies in the Bible had told them that Jesus would be their savior. They thought that meant He would come and defeat the Romans, but God meant for Jesus to save everyone from a life separated from God. That required a different kind of sacrifice than the one the Jews were expecting. And the Jews didn't like that. They felt like Jesus had let them down. It wasn't what they were expecting.

Even though Jesus wasn't what the Jews expected, the events of the week following the celebration of Jesus' arrival in Jerusalem -- Jesus' death and resurrection -- allow us to have a relationship with God. Those events mean that our sin doesn't separate us from God forever. Jesus provides a bridge to God, which is a cause for celebration. The Jewish people that celebrated Jesus' arrival into Jerusalem were right to celebrate. They just had the wrong reasons in mind.

This week, with your family, memorize Matthew 21:9. Those words are words of celebration, and Easter gives us a reason to be joyful. Jesus became the sacrifice that allows us to have a relationship with God. And, that's a great reason to celebrate.

Memory Monday: Enduring Forever (Isaiah 40:8)

When I was little, my mom used to save tin foil to reuse it. I remember her washing the tin foil when she did the dishes. She would use each piece at least twice. I’m pretty sure she did it to save money, but as a kid, I remember wondering why anyone would wash tin foil when you could just buy more at the store.

Our kids live in an even more disposable society than the one in which we grew up. Television and movies scream at our kids that they need the newest and best stuff. If they don’t like what they have, they should get rid of it and replace it with something newer and better.

And in this throw-away society, we no longer build things to last a long time. My girls are still playing with some toys that my mother played with when she was a child. I’d be hard-pressed to come up with many toys that my kids have today that I think will last through three generations of kids playing with them.

As products of this society, our kids have learned not to expect things to last. They are taught that everything is relative. You can change your belief system as easily as you can change your shirt. Things aren’t supposed to last forever without changing.

Against that backdrop, it’s easy to see why our kids can have a tough time understanding that God’s word is forever. Nothing in their lives seems to last, so why would they expect God’s word to do so?

Isaiah 40:8 says “The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever.” Our kids need to know that the Bible isn’t just another book to be read and tossed aside. It’s the unchangeable word of God. It speaks to our lives today just as much as it spoke to the lives of the first century Christians.

• Use the Bible when you talk with your kids. Bring scripture into your conversation. If your child is struggling with an issue, find a verse that speaks to it. Show them that the Bible is relevant to their lives today.

• Talk with your kids about some of the people who wrote the Bible. Explain that while the Bible was written by some amazing men like Moses, Daniel, Matthew, Luke and Paul, it was God that told them what to write.

• Show your kids where the events of the Bible fit into world history. When your kids see the events of the Bible in context with the rest of history, they get a better picture of how God has worked throughout history. It also gives them a concrete idea of how much time has passed between the time the Bible was written and now, which helps them understand how God’s word has stood the test of time.

• Learn Isaiah 40:8 with your children this week. Pick or buy a flower. Place it in a vase with water and measure how long it takes for the flower to wilt and die. Talk about how this verse compares the fleetingness of a flower with the enduring power of God’s word.

God’s word is as true and unchanging as God himself. His word offers wisdom, comfort, direction and peace – and unlike that tin foil my mom washed, it endures forever.