Small Area Practice

Our hockey player has had some upheaval in her little hockey universe. USA Hockey, the governing body for youth hockey in the United States, has mandated that all under 8 hockey programs move to a cross-ice format for games.

Last year, my daughter played full-ice hockey, just like the pros in the NHL. Through a bunch of research much too complicated for an 8-year-old to understand, USA Hockey has determined that a smaller ice area at a young age makes for better players as they get older.

Small area practices and games force the kids to move quickly, keep their heads up and improve their stick-handling, footwork and passing skills. As they get older and move to full ice, they are better hockey players because they have the fundamentals down.

None of this matters to my daughter. All she can see is that last year she got to play full-ice hockey, and this year she has to play "baby hockey." While I sympathize with the sentiment, it's my job to help her understand the benefits of this style of play for the next six months until she moves up to the next level when she'll go back to playing full ice.

As I've been pondering how to best help her approach the season, I realized that a lot of times, God gives us some small area practice before sticking us in the big game. Often, God will give us opportunities to learn and practice skills in small ways. He knows that we'll need those skills down the road for the bigger plans He has for us.

We often make plans and then get upset when those plans are thwarted. But our plans are never as good as God's plans. We can't even conceive of the things that God can plan for us. Proverbs 19:21 says, "Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails."

Just like USA Hockey, God looks at the big picture. This year is going to be tough for my little hockey player and all her 8-year-old friends because they simply aren't old enough to grasp the big picture. Ten years from now, they may look back at this year and realize that it made them better hockey players, but right now it simply seems like a whole season full of unfairness.

The same is true for us. Too often, we can't see the big picture. We don't understand why we're being put to the test in the areas of patience, perseverance and faithfulness. God can see down the road. He's preparing us to do big things for Him, but many times He allows us to have some small area practice first. We may not enjoy that practice because we're busy looking at the big game and wondering when we're going to get in it. We may not appreciate the lessons we're mastering because they don't seem important.

But down the road, we're going to appreciate what we've learned. When we get a chance to participate in the big game of God's plan, we'll look back on those moments of small area practice and realize God was getting us ready. He was improving our fundamentals so we would be effective for Him in the long run.

Helping our kids understand this idea is important, too. So many times during those pre-teen and teen years, it can seem like all we're doing is marking time, waiting to be old enough to drive, old enough to date or old enough to leave home. Talking with your kids about how life is sometimes like a sport -- we have to practice before we get into the game -- can help alleviate some of those feelings of frustration. Knowing that those times are simply practice for something bigger gives our kids a sense of purpose and perspective that will see them through the waiting.

So, the next time you're faced with a moment where God is asking you to take what appears to be a step backward, remember that He may just be offering you some small area practice before asking you to take center ice in His plan.

Busted plans

I got up yesterday morning intending for it to be another typical day -- me and my husband off to work and the girls off to school. That plan was interrupted by the knock on my bathroom door as I was taking my shower. A wan little face appeared in the crack of the door, followed by the dreaded words, "My tummy hurts."

A month ago I would have greeted those words with dismay but would have taken them in stride. But five weeks into my seven-week temporary job, I didn't really want to hear those words. My perfectly ordered day where I would go to work, pick up my girls and two of their friends after school, supervise homework, eat dinner and take my oldest to soccer practice imploded before my eyes.

This was also our first experience with a sick kid and two jobs. We had to quickly figure out who was staying home for how long, inform the neighbor that I coudn't watch her kids after school like I had promised and work out who would take my oldest to soccer practice so the sick child didn't have to go out. It all worked out, but it got me to thinking about planning.

Plans are a good thing. They give us direction and organization in our lives. Some people like plans more than others. We all know people who have a hard time coping when their plans have to change. Maybe you're one of those people who have a panic attack when plans go awry. Then there are those people who never have a plan and seem to fly through life by the seat of their pants. These people drive the planners crazy, and the planners drive the non-planners crazy, as well.

Whether you are a planner or not, you need to keep in mind that we can make plans but we always need to be open to God changing those plans. If we become so stuck in our plans that we refuse to change course when God asks us to, we will miss opportunities to serve God and be blessed by Him. Sometimes God will ask you to make a big change -- like selling everything you own and bringing clean water to the people of Belize. Other times He might ask you to make a small change -- like cancelling your plans for the evening to spend time with a broken-hearted child. Whatever He asks you to do, don't be so tied to your plans that you can't make a detour when God asks. Proverbs 16:9 reminds us of this as it says "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." And Proverbs 19:21 states "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."

Help your kids to be open to God's leading in their lives:

• Talk with your kids about what they have planned for their day. Start asking them how they would change their plans if their friend got hurt or someone in their class needed help. Point out that having a plan for the day is a good idea, but God sometimes puts people in our paths that need our help and that requires a change in plans.
• 
  Give your child a task to plan -- it can be a party, an activity or just the schedule for the day. After they have it all planned, throw a kink in the works -- you're double-booked, you can't afford the event, you need to add extra people. See how your child handles the change. Talk with her about alternative options and point out the benefits of those options. Help your child understand that just because her plans got messed up doesn't mean it's the end of the world -- there are blessing to be had in all the options.

Children who can adapt to a changing situation are much more likely to be able to see where God is working and join Him there. They won't be so tied to their own plans that they can't change what they are doing to join God in His work. God's plan is always better than our own plans, even though it may not seem that way at first.

And the blessing in yesterday's busted plans? I got to spend the afternoon and evening with my youngest watching TV and snuggling -- and that's worth way more than three hours of missed work.

Summer's End

The kids are back in school, and the weather forecaster just predicted tonight's low temperature to be in the 50s. I guess summer is officially over. Before you let the lazy days of summer slip too far into the past, take a few minutes to evaluate how it went.

At the beginning of the summer, I challenged you to make your summer count and be intentional about the things that you did this summer. Now that summer is over evaluate how you did. This isn't an exercise in beating yourself up for not accomplishing everything you would have liked. You want to take some time to evaluate what you did do, so you can better understand what works and doesn't work for your family. That Jell-o fight may have sounded like a great idea but when you actually did it you discovered you have a child who hates to have slimy stuff thrown at her.

You may have had several things planned that you didn't get to do. Don't worry about it. Sometimes God takes you in a different direction than the one you had planned. Proverbs 16:3 says "Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." That verse doesn't tell us that everything we plan will succeed, just that when we commit our plans to the Lord, whatever happens is a success. Proverbs 19:21 tells us "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." Keep that in mind as you evaluate your summer.

Now, to the nuts and bolts of evaluating your summer. Sit down with a piece of paper and write down all the things you planned for the summer. Next to each one, write down how you think the activity went. If you had a goal for what you wanted to teach your kids this summer, write it down and evaluate how well you accomplished that goal.

Next, sit down with your kids and ask them what their favorite parts of the summer were. Make notes of what activities they would like to do again and which ones they didn't like. Ask them if there was anything they would have liked to do that you didn't get to do. Put those things on your list for next summer.

Find some quiet time and sit down with your lists. Pray over your lists and ask God to show you anyplace where you could do things differently. Ask Him to show you the things to put on your list for next summer that you might not think about on your own.

Finally, talk with other moms about what they did over the summer. Some of my best ideas have come from other moms. Put any of those ideas on your list for next summer.

Now, tuck your lists away where you can find them in the spring and enjoy the cooler, routine-laden days of fall.