Friday Introductions: Untangling Christmas

"I can hardly wait. It's almost Christmas!"

This is what my oldest daughter announced in the car one day this week. I had to take a minute to check the calendar to be sure I hadn't missed a couple of months somewhere. To my great relief, I found it was still October. We hadn't shot our car through a break in the space-time continuum on our way to soccer practice.

With a declaration like that, I assumed she had her Christmas wish list completed and wanted to present me with it. To my surprise, when I gently reminded her that we still have 2 1/2 months until Christmas, she had a different response.

"It's not the presents I like the most. I just love the family and friends and all the fun stuff we get to do at Christmas time," she said.

Wow. When she could have been listing all the things she wants for Christmas, she was looking forward to all the people she was going to get to see and spend time with. She was looking forward to the feeling of love at Christmas way more than she was looking forward to getting stuff for herself.

A few days later, I ran across this e-book, Untangling Christmas: Your Go-To Guide for a Hassle-free Holiday by Karen Ehman and LeAnn Rice. I've read plenty of books about making your holiday stress-free, and most of them simply tell you to either be super organized or they tell you to simply stop doing all those things that make the holidays special.

This book is different, and if you struggle each year with creating a holiday season that emphasizes the love and joy of the season, I highly recommend you check it out. Ehman and Rice start with the premise that too often we do things during the holidays because they're expected, not because anyone we love actually enjoys them. Their idea of creating a hassle-free Christmas includes sitting down with your family and finding out what traditions are important to them, and then doing only those things.

Their book is packed full of ideas for dealing with all those stressful holiday chores like baking and shopping for gifts. Their practical, easy to implement plan for a hassle-free holiday comes across in a fun, no-nonsense writing style.

If you want to get ready for the holidays and create an atmosphere that has your kids talking more about the memories and the love found in the holidays than what they received as gifts, then check out this book.

If we take the advice that Ehman and Rice share, we'll find ourselves creating a Christmas season that takes time to focus on the love and the joy inherent in the birth of Jesus.

Remember the angels said "Behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy..." (Luke 2:10), not tidings of great stress. Even if you don't get the book, take some time now -- in October -- to decide what's important in December. It will make it easier to say no to the things that don't add to the joy of the season.

Then, get back to your regularly scheduled plans for October.

You can purchase Untangling Christmas for Kindle (Untangling Christmas: Your Go-To Guide for a Hassle-Free Holiday), Nook or as a PDF file. You can also check out the Untangling Christmas website, which contains more ideas and recipes. This blog was not solicited for this review and received no compensation for the review.

The Value of No

My fingernails are a jagged, broken mess, and my toenails haven't been painted in more than a month. I tell you this because it's a sign of a mom living a life without margin. It takes less than five minutes to do either one of those things. Yet, I haven't managed to scrape together 10 minutes to get them done. So, if you see me today, ignore my fingers and toes.


My kitchen floor is icky, too. I'm not sure when the last time was that it got mopped. It's on the list. It just hasn't made it to the top. I've got several things that have been on the list for a while. Some days I wonder if they'll ever make it to the top of the list.

Some of you came to this blog this morning looking for another post on our 39 Clues summer adventure. It is Wednesday, after all. Up until about five o'clock yesterday evening, I was planning for my day to go something like this: get up and write blog, get two kids and myself ready for Vacation Bible School, spend all morning teaching VBS, grab lunch, have 39 Clues, babysit my neighbors' kids, run my youngest to the doctor to get her latest ear infection taken care of, work for four hours while watching the Stanley Cup game -- all while doing laundry to get ready to go on vacation.

When I write it all down, it looks even crazier than it sounded last night. Yesterday afternoon, I was quickly turning into a puddle of stress as I looked at my very dirty house and thought about everything that I had to get done to pull off VBS, 39 Clues and finishing my freelance project.

Despite the fact that it's summer and schedules are supposed to slow down, June has been our crazy month. We had two car trips planned, VBS and my girls are headed to camps when we get back. And, my parents, whom I can always count on for providing me with some child-free hours, are gone most of the month on vacation. Throw in an unscheduled freelance project, a birthday party and just the general summer activity and June 14 found this household with one stressed-out mama.

My kids and husband will tell you that I wasn't very nice to be around last night. So much so that my husband took my girls and went to the pool. While I enjoyed the blessed peace and quiet, I couldn't relax. There was just too much to do. At one point, I was trying to figure out how many hours of sleep I could do without so I could get everything done. When I found myself trying to figure out how to squeeze in a doctor's appointment for my daughter (which should have been at the top of my list), I realized I was in trouble.

So, I did something that my husband will tell you I don't do often enough. I said "no." I called up the moms of my daughters' friends and told them we weren't going to have 39 Clues today. We'll push it off to next week. I said "no" not because I don't want to do it and not because it's not a worthwhile thing to do. I said "no" because it was something I shouldn't have scheduled on a week where we had VBS and were planning to leave on a trip in the first place.

Why is it so hard for so many of us to say "no"? We take on more than we can handle and then make everyone around us miserable trying to get it all done. Many of us live our lives pressed to the edge all the time. We give up sleep, meals and time with our families trying to be Super Mom. And where does it get us? Does it make us happier? More fulfilled? More Godly?

No. It makes us grumpy, tired and stressed. Wow. Doesn't that sound like fun?

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." But you know what? Sometimes that time is not now.

We can't do everything and be everywhere, no matter how hard we try. The myth that to be a great mom, you have to be perfect in everything is just that -- a myth.

Saying "yes" to every opportunity that comes our way not only stresses us out, it sets a bad example for our kids. We try to teach our children to make wise choices -- to consider the impact of the decisions they make on themselves and those around them. Yet, we contradict that by saying "yes" to every request that comes our way. What we're actually teaching our kids is that it's never OK to say "no" and pleasing others is the most important thing -- more important than family, health or sanity.

If you're overloaded and stressed out, it's time to say "no" to some of the things on your plate. Create some margin in your life so you can go back to being someone your family enjoys hanging out with.

Today, I'm going to make sure my daughter gets seen by a doctor, VBS gets taught and my freelance work gets done. But, I'm also going to make some time to file my fingernails and paint my toenails. My kitchen floor might actually see the bottom side of the mop.

And tonight, because I said "no" to something last night, I'm going to have the chance to sit down -- without a computer in my lap -- and share watching the Boston Bruins in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals with my girls. No distractions of work or chores. Just time spent with my hockey-mad daughter and her tolerant sister and dad. Because saying "no" lets me focus on the people who are important in my life. Try it today.

Rejoice!

There's less than two weeks until Christmas, and I still have Christmas presents to buy and make. We haven't taken the kids on our annual trek to look at Christmas lights or to see the penguin house (a house in our city that has more penguin blow-ups than you would imagine existed). We haven't made a trip to see Santa yet. Every day this week is packed with activity from sports practices to school Christmas parties to church obligations.

I know many of you are in the same boat. This is the time of year when the Christmas season goes from joyful to stressful for so many. It seems like there's so much to be done and not enough time to do it. Despite all our best intentions, the stress of family interactions, Christmas traditions and our own expectations begin to weigh us down and suck the joy out of our celebration of Christ's birth.

So, today, take a moment to rejoice. Whether your house is clean, your baking done or your presents wrapped, take a few minutes to focus on the reason for joy. The angel told the shepherds "Behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people." (Luke 2:10) That joy isn't dependent on your circumstances. It doesn't matter if your in-laws drive you crazy or if you haven't finished that last Christmas present. That joy doesn't depend on whether your tree is picture perfect or your Christmas cards have been mailed.

The only thing our joy depends on is Jesus. So, spend a moment or two rejoicing that Jesus, the King and Creator of the world, came to earth as a baby and died so that you and I would no longer be separated from God.

• Gather your kids and sing some Christmas carols -- ones that celebrate Christ's birth.
• Have a birthday party to celebrate Jesus' birth. Have some cake and ice cream.
• Spend some time reading the Christmas story aloud from the Bible as a family. Talk about why the angels declared Jesus' birth a cause for joy.
• Remind your children that joy is not dependent on circumstances -- it comes from knowing that Jesus' died for us, rose again and bridged the gap between us and God.

So, today, I say to you "Rejoice, and again I say rejoice!"