Beating the Mid-Summer Blues

It's been over 100 degrees here for about the past four days. I heard on the radio this morning that it's going to drop to 90 tomorrow and that might be the lowest temp we see for the rest of the month.

I think sometimes the dog days of summer are almost as difficult to deal with as a mom as the freezing cold, snowy days of winter. At least in the winter, we have school to take up part of the day.

When it gets this hot and humid, the girls don't want to go outside and even the pool is not an option when the sun is high in the sky. This fair-skinned family gets burnt way too quickly to hit the pool before late afternoon. That leaves some long days to fill.

Some days, my inclination is to turn on the TV or Wii and let the kids watch or play. Other days, we work together on some project around the house. By this time in the summer, we're all starting to get tired of spending every waking moment together. The girls are tired of each other and me, and, to be honest, I have days when I'm tired of them.

These are the moments when we need to shake things up with our kids. It's easy to get in a rut during the hot days of summer. It's tempting to simply let teachable moments with your kids slip by because it takes effort.

This is the time of year when I need a renewed sense of purpose. I need to beat those mid-summer blues that keep me from being an effective mom to my kids.

God doesn't want us to just go through the motions. He wants us to be on fire for Him. Revelaton 3:15-16 says "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth."

I want to have a hot heart for God, yet here, in the midst of the hottest days of the summer, I find myself lukewarm. Stymied by the demands of everything in my life, I give up my time with God, and I pass on opportunities to share His love and wisdom with my kids.

If you find yourself in a similar spot, try something different. I find that shaking up our schedule and our focus will often shake me out of my funk.

• Make a new plan. Spend some time thinking about the things you want to concentrate on with your children. What character qualities do you want to focus on with them? What do you want them to know about God? Then, find a fun, creative way to share those things with them. I often find when I'm planning something for my kids, God uses that time to speak to me, too.
• Re-examine the schedule. If you're having trouble finding time to spend with God on a regular basis, then try a new time. See if there are moments in your day that you can reclaim to spend with God. You may need to rearrange a few things and reset some expectations in your household, but if you're not finding time to be filled up by God, you won't have much to pass on to your children.
• Get out of the house and look for everyday opportunities to share God with your kids. Whether its a trip to the pool, the mall, the zoo, an amusement park or a local play space, there are plenty of opportunities to share God's perspective on life with your kids. You can talk about the water of life at the pool, God's provision at the mall, creation at the zoo, fear at the amusement park and abundant life at your local play space.
• Hook up with some friends. Sometimes our frustration with our children, and their frustration with each other simply comes from spending too much time together. Adding some other children (and a mom for you to talk with) adds some perspective to your entire family's life. It adds some new adventure and excitement to the day and leaves you feeling refreshed.

So, in the midst of the heat and humidity of these long summer days, don't get discouraged. Make time to let God fill you up and reclaim your focus on sharing his love with your kids. Do one thing today that shakes up your routine and lets you refocus on God.

Summer Fun: 39 Clues to You -- Week 4

Sometimes other people's decisions aren't the same as ours. We don't understand why they make the choices they do.

When you're a kid, it's easy to think that if other people don't think exactly like you, then their decision is wrong. How many times have you heard kids argue about what the best TV show is or what the best pizza topping is? And how many times have those discussions degenerated into an "I'm right, you're wrong" argument?

This week's 39 Clues focused on helping kids understand that even though we might make different decisions about the things we like and don't like, that doesn't make those decisions wrong. It just makes them different.

Our verse for the week was Romans 12:12 "Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ." All the parts of our body don't do the same thing. They have different functions and they are intended to do different things. We are just like body parts. God intended for us all to follow Jesus, but He has different roles for each of us to play in His plan. If we try to be just like someone else, then we aren't fulfilling that role.

We had 39 Clues on Monday night this week to fit with everyone's camp and vacation schedules. We started with pizza. We had three four different types of pizza, and each of the girls got to choose their favorite kind. Before we ate, we looked at the pizza on everyone's plate. We talked about how sometimes we have choices to make that have a definite right or wrong answer. But we also often get to make choices just based on preferences.

I had the girls give me some examples of right and wrong choices. Then I asked them what kind of pizza they thought God wanted them to choose. They all laughed. We talked about how we each have preferences about certain things. Those preferences come from the way God wired us to be.

Because God wired each of us to have certain likes and dislikes, it makes God sad when we choose to ridicule others or be mean to others just because they like or don't like the same things we do. We are all part of one body, and your mouth doesn't go around making fun of your hands just because your hands are different. We shouldn't go around making fun of others just because they like or dislike different things than us.

Our featured child for the day was my oldest daughter's best friend. She loves reading and Tae Kwon Do. I gave each child some modeling clay and had them create a scene from their favorite book. Then each girl explained what their book was about. We talked about the differences in the books and I had every girl tell me whether they would read the others' books. We discovered that while we all liked different things to read, we all liked to read. I had my daughter's friend tell us the things that she likes about reading.

Then, we all went outside and had our featured girl show us some Tae Kwon Do moves. She's a high brown belt in Tae Kwon Do. She showed us some of the stuff that she can do and taught us some really simple kicks. She told us what she liked about Tae Kwon Do, and the other girls talked about whether it sounded like something they would like to do or not.

We finished up with a challenge to work together with someone else this week (like our body parts work together) to do something that is pleasing to God. We shared prayer requests and prayed together before some really tired girls headed home to bed.

Hopefully, this week, the girls will think about working together as part of one body and that will change the way they think about treating others as well.

Summer: Don't Lose Your Voice

As many of you know, we had a rough winter around here. My kids were sick more than they were well. We are a family happy to see the warmer days of spring and are looking forward to the even warmer, germ-free days of summer.

However, it seems that illness decided to take one last whack at our family. Both girls spent time at home in the past two weeks with head colds and ear infections. Amazingly, as much illness as has been in our home over the past five months, I have managed not to get sick. Until this week.

I have a miserable head cold. My head is stuffed up, my throat is sore, and I've lost my voice. There's a lot of "What did you say?" going on around here. I have to resort to a combination of whispering and hand motions to get my point across. I will be so glad to be well.

As summer rolls around and we begin focusing on what we want to teach our children with the extra time we have, it can be easy to lose your everday voice.  We can get so caught up in our plans for the summer that we miss the everyday moments to teach our kids. While having a plan for the summer is great, don't let that plan become the only focus of your summer.

We want to continue to take advantage of every opportunity to teach our kids in the style of Deuteronomy 6:6-9. We want to use the everyday moments of the summer to pass along God's truth. Look at the opportunities that God gives us to teach every day. Read those verses: "These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." Make this command your purpose for the summer. Talk about God at every opportunity.

If you're at the zoo, talk about how God created everything. If your child is going off to sports camp of some kind, talk about the importance of being a good sport and revealing a Godly character. If you're hanging out in the pool, talk about how God is like a lifeguard -- he saves us.

Have a plan for the summer, but use those everyday moments to bring God into your lives each day of the summer. Don't lose your everyday voice in the midst of your summer plans.

Next week, the blog is going to focus on ways to teach particular topics during the summer. I'd love to know what some of you are planning to focus on with your kids this summer, so I can get you started. Leave me a comment here on the blog or on the Facebook page letting me know what topic you'll be creating opportunities to teach your kids this summer.

Summer: Creating Opportunities to Teach

A couple of summers ago, my kids had a case of what the Berenstein Bears call the "gimmes." You've all run into the "gimmes." You walk into a store, and immediately your kids start saying "gimme this" or "gimme that." It seemed as if my kids had turned into greedy children almost overnight.

So, I decided we were going to spend the summer focusing on those less fortunate than we are. I created a summer "camp" around an Amazing Race theme. We called it "Passport to the World." Every week we "traveled" to a different country where we learned about the customs in that country and compared them to the way we live in the U.S. We also learned about a missionary in that country and the work they did.

By the time our summer was over, my girls and four of their friends had a good grasp on how people in the rest of the world live and how fortunate they were to be able to go to school, have enough to eat and not be limited in their options for life simply because of who their family is. They learned six Bible verses and ate some different foods.

Their attitudes had undergone a radical change as well. While we still get the occasional attack of the "gimmes" in our house, more often we find our girls looking for people in need and trying to meet those needs. We've continued to work with the girls and teach them about unselfishness, but the roots of what they learned came from that summer spent "traveling" around the world.

While most of the time, this blog is about finding moments to teach in your kids simply as you go about your life, summer is the perfect time to set aside some time to create an opportunity to teach your children. Great teaching takes place in the spur of the moment -- and we'll talk about that tomorrow -- but if you create an opportunity to put the spotlight on a character quality or other subject for the entire summer, you can take advantage of the time to really reinforce the concept.

Yesterday, I asked you to create a focus statement for your summer. Today, I'm going to walk you through the steps to create your own opportunity to teach your kids this summer. Your opportunity doesn't have to be as big as our "trip" around the world. You can take a half hour a week to get your point across, or you can do something every day. The amount of time you invest is up to you. The important thing is that you make the effort to provide your kids with a concentrated focus for the summer.

Begin by making a few decisions:

• How much time do you have?
• Do you want to work with just your kids or do you want to invite some of their friends?
• How much money do you want to spend?
• Do you want to do it all at your home or do you want to go elsewhere?
• What resources do you need?
• When will you meet?

After you've answered these questions, sit down and make a plan. Now, I'm not much of a planner. My plans for each week usually are just a simple outline, but you may be one of those people who need a detailed plan. Whatever works for you is what you should do. Your plan needs to include the Biblical basis for what you're teaching, any verses you want to share with your kids, whatever activities you're going to do and any resources you'll need.

You can create an entire summer of activity focused on your theme or you can plan to spend a few minutes each day simply talking with your kids about a topic. Whatever you do, make it fun and make it memorable. Let your knowledge of your kids be your guide in creating activities. If your kids love crafts, plan some craft activities around your theme. If they love sports, figure out a way to get some physical activity in your time together.

Make the most of your time together this summer by creating opportunities to teach your kids because the days will slip by quickly. Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." In our house, we've found summer to be the season for creating opportunities to teach our kids, mold their character and have fun together. I hope this summer, you'll find that to be true, too.

Next week, the blog is going to focus on ways to teach particular topics during the summer. I'd love to know what some of you are planning to focus on with your kids this summer, so I can get you started. Leave me a comment here on the blog or on the Facebook page letting me know what topic you'll be creating opportunities to teach your kids this summer.

Summer: Creating a Road Map

Have you ever taken a drive or a walk and just wandered aimlessly? You might see a lot of the countryside and you might even discover something new, but when you get home, you don't really get the sense that you have accomplished anything. The drive or walk was nice, but it didn't really take you anywhere you needed to go.

We can spend our summers with our kids wandering aimlessly. When the summer is over, we'll probably have some memories of some fun times and we might have managed to teach our kids a few things, but we won't be able to point to anything big that our kids have learned. If we start our summer without a direction, we'll end it without having gone anywhere.

The key to a successful summer with your kids is to create your own road map for your time together. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm definitely not telling you to overschedule your summer. You also don't need a day-by-day schedule. What you do need is a simple plan for the things you want to accomplish for the summer.

Look at it this way, if you were going to paint a room, you would make a list of the supplies you needed and set aside some time to get it done. You wouldn't just paint the room with a toothbrush and some children's watercolors. Having a plan for your summer -- a road map -- makes it easier for us to teach our kids the things God wants them to know.

Yesterday, I asked you to pray over your kids and your schedules and ask God to reveal to you what He wants you to focus on with your kids this summer. Now, I want you to finish this statement: By the end of the summer, I want my kids to know ________________.

My statement for the summer is: By the end of the summer, I want my kids to know that God created each person with special gifts and talents to use for Him. Our summer is going to focus on the fact that God made each of them unique and not only should we be ourselves, but we should value others because God made them unique, too.

So, now that you have a focus for your summer, spend some time today asking God to show you how to teach that idea to your children. You might be saying, I'm not creative enough to do this or I don't know where to start. God is simply waiting for you to ask. He offers wisdom to everyone who asks for it. James 1:5 says "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." Ask Him to point out everyday moments where you can teach your kids and to show you bigger, more planned events where you can create moments to teach your kids.

Tomorrow, we'll look at how to create some of those moments, and on Friday we'll make sure we aren't so focused on the big things we have planned that we miss the little, everyday moments that God provides. But, today, spend some more time in prayer about your summer. If God hasn't revealed a focus for your summer to you, keep praying about that, too.

Start creating your road map for the summer today.

Are You Ready For Summer?

I know it's hard to believe, but summer is just around the corner. As we flip the calendar page to May, my kids only have three weeks of school left. Then it's a seemingly endless stretch of lazy days until August.

I love summer. I love getting to spend lots of time with my kids. I love that there are a lot of days in the summer where we get up with nothing on the calendar. The hustle and bustle of the school year settles into a more restful pace.

Summer is a fantastic time to reconnect with your kids and focus on teaching them some things that they won't learn in school. It's a fabulous time to create some intentional moments with your kids to share with them God's truths.

But, that won't happen without a plan. For the next few weeks, the blog is going to focus on planning for summer. We'll look at how to get ready for an intentional summer and how to implement some of those ideas into your everyday life. This week, we're going to focus on planning for summer.

And that starts with prayer. I've found the key to a successful summer, like most anything else in life, begins with me on my knees.

Before you can plan anything, you need a direction for your summer. It's easier to be intentional about using the time in your summer if you have one or two things on which to focus your energies. Summer is a great time to work on attitudes and behaviors that indicate a godly character. With your kids out from under the daily influence of other kids at school, sports or activities, you can work one-on-one with your kids on those character qualities that you most want to see them develop.

Today, I want you to ask God what He wants you to do with your summer. Follow the guidance found in Proverbs 16:3 "Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."

• Ask God to make this summer a special time for you and your kids. Ask Him to help you look forward to the long stretch of days with your kids with anticipation and not dread.
• Pray over each of your children, asking God to show you the specific things He wants you to teach each of them this summer.
• Lay your calendar before you and pray over it, letting God show you how to fill those days.
• Ask God for patience and understanding for your kids as you all work back into a routine of spending more time together this summer.
• Ask God to show you two or three truths that He wants you to share with your kids this summer. These are the things around which you want to build your summer activities.
• Pray that your summer would be filled with fun and laughter for both you and your kids.

As you commit the days of your summer to God, really seek His will in choosing the things you will teach your kids this summer. You want to be ready to take any opportunity to teach your kids but having a plan for some of those moments means you won't get to the end of the summer and feel like you missed a golden opportunity.

Don't read this blog this morning and skip this step. I promise if you spend the time in prayer about how to best spend your summer, God will reveal exactly the things that your kids need to know. If we go on about our plans without submitting to God's plan, then we and our kids will miss out.

Summer's End

The kids are back in school, and the weather forecaster just predicted tonight's low temperature to be in the 50s. I guess summer is officially over. Before you let the lazy days of summer slip too far into the past, take a few minutes to evaluate how it went.

At the beginning of the summer, I challenged you to make your summer count and be intentional about the things that you did this summer. Now that summer is over evaluate how you did. This isn't an exercise in beating yourself up for not accomplishing everything you would have liked. You want to take some time to evaluate what you did do, so you can better understand what works and doesn't work for your family. That Jell-o fight may have sounded like a great idea but when you actually did it you discovered you have a child who hates to have slimy stuff thrown at her.

You may have had several things planned that you didn't get to do. Don't worry about it. Sometimes God takes you in a different direction than the one you had planned. Proverbs 16:3 says "Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." That verse doesn't tell us that everything we plan will succeed, just that when we commit our plans to the Lord, whatever happens is a success. Proverbs 19:21 tells us "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." Keep that in mind as you evaluate your summer.

Now, to the nuts and bolts of evaluating your summer. Sit down with a piece of paper and write down all the things you planned for the summer. Next to each one, write down how you think the activity went. If you had a goal for what you wanted to teach your kids this summer, write it down and evaluate how well you accomplished that goal.

Next, sit down with your kids and ask them what their favorite parts of the summer were. Make notes of what activities they would like to do again and which ones they didn't like. Ask them if there was anything they would have liked to do that you didn't get to do. Put those things on your list for next summer.

Find some quiet time and sit down with your lists. Pray over your lists and ask God to show you anyplace where you could do things differently. Ask Him to show you the things to put on your list for next summer that you might not think about on your own.

Finally, talk with other moms about what they did over the summer. Some of my best ideas have come from other moms. Put any of those ideas on your list for next summer.

Now, tuck your lists away where you can find them in the spring and enjoy the cooler, routine-laden days of fall.