Opening Day

I've been looking forward to today for nearly a month. The girls don't know it yet, but I'm pulling them out of school early, and we're going to the baseball game. It's Opening Day of baseball season, the unofficial start

of spring -- except it's about 30 degrees out, and they're predicting rain showers.

This weather really wasn't what I pictured when I bought the tickets. I had visions in my mind of 70 degrees and sun. I'm sure the warm, sunny weather is on it's way -- it just isn't going to get here today.

Life is sometimes like today's Opening Day. Cloudy and stormy on days that we thought were going to be sunny and bright. Some of the biggest blessings that God has for us sometimes start with a storm in our lives. But God uses those things for good. He stretches and grows our character, and He creates good out of difficult circumstances.

The next time things don't go as planned in your life and your children's lives, use it as an opportunity to teach your children that God brings good out of the storm.

• If a game gets rained out or your child gets sick and can't go to a party to which he was really looking forward, us it as a learning opportunity. Find some good in the situation and point it out to your child -- he gets to do something else fun instead of the game or he gets to watch lots of TV when he's sick. Help your child see that good can come out of the storms of life.
• Make it a point to look back at a difficult circumstance when you have come through the other side. Talk with your kids about the good that came out of the situation. Point out places where your family grew stronger and places where God was at work even though it was difficult to see.
• On days when it seems like the sun will never shine again, days when the whole world seems to be against your child, hold them close and let them know they are loved. Remind your children that God loves them with a neverending love. Share with your children the story of the Israelites who went through exile and despair, yet God said this to the Israelites in Jeremiah 31:1-3, "'At that time,' declares the LORD, 'I will be the God of all the families of Israel, and they will be my people.' This is what the LORD says: 'The people who survive the sword will find favor in the wilderness; I will come to give rest to Israel.' The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: 'I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.'"

No matter the circumstance, God loves us. Just like with baseball, though the season may start dark and gloomy, sunny days will come at some point. And we may just look back on that dark and gloomy day as the starting point of something good.

Shake It Up

I have to admit that this week is making me want to turn in my mommy card. I'm behind on deadlines. My youngest has turned mouthy and decided she only has to obey when she wants to. My oldest is in the middle of math assessments, which means she's likely to burst into tears at the slightest provocation. I unexpectedly had a child home yesterday, which was the only day this week I had to work on my freelance projects. And, I'm getting a cold.

Sometimes the mommy grind gets old. We lose sight of the fact that these children are precious treasures because all we see are the difficult moments. And it often seems like these moments follow moments where we've been on a mommy high. I know a week ago, I didn't feel this way. All of this has come crashing in in the past two days.

I don't know when I'm going to catch up to my deadlines. I don't know when my youngest is going to decide it's easier to obey than to suffer the consequences. I don't know why testing stresses out my oldest so much. And I really don't know when my head is going to unstuff itself.

I do know that we need to shake things up a bit. We need a moment out of the hustle and bustle and frustration where we can just enjoy each other. Our moment is coming tomorrow. The girls and I and my dad are headed to baseball's opening day (shh, it's a surprise). I'm going to pick my girls up from school early, and we're going to spend the afternoon eating peanuts and Cracker Jacks and not caring if we ever get back.

You know what? The weather forecast looks awful -- 54 and rainy. Our local baseball team isn't very good. But I bet we have fun. I bet we forget about deadlines and crankiness and enjoy the time together. Ten years from now, we're not going to look back on this week and remember the orneriness of my youngest, the tears of my oldest or the looming deadlines. We're going to look at each other and say, "Remember when we went to Royals opening day in the rain?"

God tells us that our children are a blessing. Psalm 127:3-5 says "Children are a heritage from the LORD,
offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." In the daily grind of parenthood, it's easy to lose sight of the fact that our children are a blessing.

Sometimes we just need to take a moment to remember that they are a blessing. When circumstances conspire to make us want to hand over that parenting card, we need to find a time to remind ourselves of the blessing that they are. Whether it's a snowball fight, an unexpected trip to lunch, a quick game of tag or pizza and a movie at home, create moments in your life that remind you that you are blessed to be the parent of your children.

Because children grow up quickly. The days you think will never end are over far too soon. The moments you spend with your kids knowing you are blessed are the ones that you and they will remember.

Evidence of God

"I can't see!" is a cry we hear frequently from our youngest. She's a petite little thing and often finds herself the shortest person in the room. In a crowd, it's often tough for her to see what everyone else can see. Lucky for her, despite being almost 8 years old, she's still light enough to pick up. Many times, if there's something cool to see, we'll pick her up or find her something to stand on to make her taller so she can see whatever there is to see.

Kids always want to see what's going on. Not being able to see is a source of great frustration for my youngest. She'll do just about anything to be able to see what's going on. Kids are concrete thinkers, which can make it tough for them to grasp the reality of God. Sometimes, we need to lift our kids up so they can "see" God.

We are asking our children to believe in something they can't see, and we have to be careful to help them distinguish God from a fairy tale. It's easy for kids to get confused because we read them stories from all types of books, and then we read them Bible stories, too. We need to be careful to make the distinction between fiction stories and the Bible. From a young age, we want to make sure we're telling our children that all the stories in the Bible are true.

It's hard to understand that God is real when you can't see Him. Hebrews 11:1 says "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Without faith, we can't have a relationship with God, and faith can be a big concept for kids to understand. Do your best to make God real to your kids even though they can't see Him.

• Point out the evidence of God. God's creation is all around us. Have your child go out in the yard and find three things that God made. Talk about each thing and point out how amazing it is that He made such a variety of things.
• Help your child think of times when God has helped them. Make a list of times that God has answered prayers or been present in your child's life. Thank God for being real and caring about us.
• Take your kids outside on a windy day. Point out that you can't see the wind with your eyes, but you can see the evidence of it all around you. Talk about how God is like the wind. We can't see Him, but we can see the evidence that He exists all around us.

Be sure to act like God is real in your own life. If you tell your kids to have faith in something they can't see, but then you choose to rely on your own strength and ignore God, your kids won't see any reason to put their faith in God either. Rely on God and put your faith in Him. Remind your children that He is real and we see evidence of Him everywhere. Give your kids a boost, and help them to "see" a God in whom they can put their faith.

Memory Monday: I Blew It (1 John 1:9)

I spent Friday and Saturday night at our church's women's retreat. The theme for the retreat was "Rejoice!" I came home Saturday night tired but feeling refreshed and renewed. Then I promptly blew it as a parent.

I met my family at my oldest daughter's indoor soccer game. She had played an outdoor game in the snow earlier in the day, and her indoor game finished about the time she usually goes to bed. I was exhausted from staying up late the night before and teaching twice on Saturday. She was clearly exhausted from the sleepover she'd had while I was gone and playing two games that day. The combination did not end well.

As we were driving home from soccer my girls took turns telling me about the past two days. My oldest daughter told me she had forgotten to take the stuff to school for her science project and had gotten a 0 for the assignment. She also told me that her friends had given her some of their stuff but when her teacher asked her if she had brought her own stuff from home, she told him the truth and got the 0.

Did I take advantage of this opportunity to praise my child for taking her lumps even though a small lie would have saved her grade? Did I take a moment to encourage her for telling the truth instead of taking the easy way out? Nope. I took the opportunity to lecture her on responsibility, and after she went to bed, I wanted to smack myself.

God had given me a moment in which I got to see how everything we've been trying to teach our daughter about honesty has paid off. He offered me the chance to support and encourage her to do what's right even when there are no rewards. And I passed it up to focus on the less important issue.

Sure, my daughter needed to be reminded of the fact that she needs to be responsible for her homework, but what she really needed was to know that she had done the right thing in telling the truth. She looked to me to provide that for her, and I blew it.

So, what do we do when we mess up? Because it is inevitable that we are going to blow it on a regular basis. We pick ourselves up. Ask for forgiveness and move on.

Yesterday, I apologized to my daughter and offered her the praise and encouragement I should have offered her in the first place. We did talk about how she needs to be responsible for her assignments, but we didn't dwell on it.

I also asked God to forgive me for completely screwing up the opportunity he had given me and asked him to continue to offer up situations for me to teach my kids. The wonderful thing about God is that He forgives us and separates our sin from us, if we ask. 1 John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Memorize this verse this week and know that God is faithful, even when we blow it. If we ask, He will forgive us and offer us new opportunities.

So, if you've blown it with your kids this weekend. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, ask both God and your kids for forgiveness and be intentional in looking for the next opportunity to love and guide your children.

Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone (Part 2)

Yesterday, I wrote a post about relying on God's strength, not our own. Sometimes when I write a post, God, with His timely sense of humor, checks to see if I really practice what I preach. My morning yesterday was an excellent example of that.

I had the wonderful privilege of being invited to share with a local MOPS group yesterday. I had spent Wednesday afternoon preparing for my talk. I had some pretty handouts, a nifty PowerPoint presentation and a pretty polished presentation. I was feeling pretty good about things when I went to bed on Wednesday night.

Thursday morning, I sent my girls off to school and gathered all of my things. About 20 minutes before I needed to leave, I ran downstairs to print off my notes. To my horror, I discovered that my notes were nowhere to be found. They had disappeared into the electronic abyss.

Sitting in my chair, I looked heavenward and said "Are you serious? That verse I wrote about had better be true!" So, I sketched out a quick outline, said a fervent prayer that God would fulfill His promise in 2 Corinthians 12:9 and make His strength perfect in my weakness and went off to speak.

The morning went really well. The ladies in the MOPS group were engaging and welcoming, and not once did I feel nervous or lost as I spoke to them. I didn't give the most polished presentation. Instead, I spoke from my heart and shared some things I hadn't planned to share when I planned my talk. God showed up and you could feel His presence in the room. By the time it was over, I was actually feeling glad that God had thrown out my plan and gone with His instead.

You see, I know that God was busy yesterday, kicking the platform of my pride out from underneath my feet. He knew what those MOPS moms needed to hear, and it wasn't exactly what I had planned. He knew that I was relying on my own knowledge and ability more than I was relying on Him, so He stepped in to give both me and the MOPS moms the reminders that we needed.

Yesterday morning, I had two choices: I could rail at God and try to put my plan back together or I could surrender and go with His plan. When you're faced with those choices, I want to tell you it's always better to go with God's plan.

Ephesians 3:20 tells us "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!" God can do great things through us, but we have to get out of the way and let Him work. Sometimes he has to bring us to a place where our pride is in tatters and our choices are limited. But know this, God always shows up.

He has promised to never leave us or forsake us. When God changes our plans, He's often trying to teach us to rely on Him and let Him provide us with the strength and grace for the task. While I truly thought God was off his rocker yesterday morning, He left me with no choice but to trust in His grace and strength. When I did, He did so much more through me that I could "ask or imagine."

While I'm grateful for the lesson, I'm hoping I've learned it well enough that the notes for my talk at our church's women's retreat this weekend don't disappear into that electronic abyss as well. But if they do, I know God will show up and take charge.

If you have something that you're doing that you're relying on your own strength to tackle -- a tough parenting situation, a project at work or even a lesson you're getting ready to teach -- give it to God and ask Him to provide the grace and strength you need. Hand over your pride and watch God work.

Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone

I have a friend who has a speaking engagement this weekend. She's an amazingly talented public speaker with a heart for other women. God nearly always speaks to me through her when I hear her speak. Yet, she tells me she's never comfortable speaking to a large group of women about God. It's way outside her comfort zone.

You see, she's always afraid she doesn't know enough about the Bible to be able to answer all the questions that will come her way. She's worried that she'll get it wrong. Yet, every time she speaks, God shows up in big ways.

Every time God asks us to step outside of our comfort zone, He is stretching and growing us. He is forcing us to rely on His strength and grace, not our own. When we get out of God's way and let Him do the work, He can do amazing things.

I'm often way outside my comfort zone when I write this blog and speak to mom's groups. I'm concerned that people will look at my kids and hold them to a higher standard. I'm sometimes reluctant to share the things God tells me to share because they make me vulnerable to hundreds of people I've never met. It's always uncomfortable to stand up in front of a group of people that I don't know and share what God has given me to share.

Yet, in those times when I obey and lay my struggles and concerns on the line, God always shows up in mighty, mighty ways. He uses the moments I'm most uncomfortable to teach me the most. The more I have to rely on Him for strength and wisdom, the more room I give Him to work in my life and the lives of others.

This lesson doesn't stop with us, though. Often, our kids are asked to step outside their comfort zones. God may ask them to share their faith with their friends. He may ask them to stand up for an unpopular child in their class. He may ask them to try out for a sports team or audition for a role in a play.

We need to help our kids understand that if we never step outside our comfort zone, then we deny God a chance to use us. God is not interested in our comfort; He is interested in our character. To stretch and grow our character, He sometimes needs to make us uncomfortable.

Help your kids overcome their reluctance to step outside their comfort zone.

• Share with your kids some examples in your own life of when you stepped outside your comfort zone and God used you.
• Remind your kids that God always provides the grace and strength that we need. Share 2 Corinthians 12:9 with your kids. "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."
• Illustrate this verse by placing a large cup and a small cup on the table. Tell your kids that the cups represents days in their lives. Fill the cups to the very top with water. Tell your kids that the water represents God's grace and power. Explain that God gives us enough grace and strength for each day. Some days we need lots of grace and strength, so the cup is big. Other days, we don't need as much, so the cup is smaller. But God gives us enough grace and strength for the things we are facing that day. He doesn't overflow our cup and expect us to save some grace and strength for tomorrow or next week. He doesn't underfill our cup so we are struggling under our own power. He gives us exactly what we need for the day we are on.
• Encourage your kids not to let fear keep them from doing the things that God has asked them to do. Fear has no place in our lives, even when we are stepping outside our comfort zone. 2 Timothy 1:7 says "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline." Help your child give his fear to God and step out in faith that God will give him the power and strength he needs to step out of his comfort zone.

Remember that often it is when we are most uncomfortable that God is able to use us the best. Rely on His power and strength to step outside your comfort zone -- and watch Him do amazing things.

Mercies in Disguise

I heard a new song on the radio the other day called Blessings, sung by Laura Story. The words to the song so stunned me that I nearly had to pull over the car to listen. If you haven't heard it, check it out here:

The words to the chorus are:

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

I know that God uses difficult things in our lives to help us grow, but this gave me a whole new perspective on the tough stuff that happens in life. Now, God never causes bad things to happen to us, but He doesn't always stop things from happening. The consequences of sin are that we live in an imperfect world with death, disease and tragedy.

But this song made me stop and reflect on the fact that sometimes it takes those things to get my attention. Sometimes in order to get as close to God as possible it takes a tragedy for me to draw near to Him. Sometimes the trials of this life are His mercies in disguise. I look back at moments in my life when I've dealt with stuff that at that moment I could not possibly believe I would find good in, but I find that those are the moments when my relationship with God grew the most.

If you look back on those moments in your life when you were at your lowest, you will probably find that God was right there with you, carrying you along. You may have felt closer to God at your lowest low than you did at your highest high.

Teaching our kids to look for God in the midst of trouble is an important part of helping them mature as Christ followers. Following Jesus doesn't put some magic shield around us that keeps us from dealing with any of the tragedy that happens in this imperfect world. Our kids need to know that God is there in the good times and the bad times, and they can rely on Him on all the time.

• When things don't go your child's way, remind them that God is always near. Draw your child a picture of a fork in the road. Explain that every time we hit a crisis, we can go down one of two paths. We can walk the road with God or we can walk away from God. God never moves, but we choose to walk beside Him or far away from Him. Walking the road with Him doesn't mean that the crisis will go away, but it does mean we can draw on God's wisdom and love as we walk that road.

• When your child is in the midst of a crisis, pray with her. Show her how to ask God to be with her and to help her deal with whatever comes her way. Ask God to be visible in the way He shows His love to her. Ask for wisdom in dealing with the issue.
• After the crisis has passed, help your child identify ways in which he grew through the crisis. Talk about anything good that has come out of dealing with the issue. Ask your child how he feels about how God helped him throughout the crisis. By identifying the ways in which God used something bad to create something good, you help your child see God at work. Remind your child of Romans 8:28, which says "All things work together for good for those who love Him."

Whatever crisis you're facing today or will face in the future, keep in mind that sometimes difficult things allow us to see God more clearly and feel His presence more keenly. They are His mercies in disguise.