When my oldest daughter was 5, we went to a water park. She was so excited because she was tall enough to go down all but one of the slides. We had talked and talked about how much fun it would be. Then we got to the top of the slide. Where she promptly sat on the slide and announced she wasn't going down.
She was scared. She couldn't see the bottom. We couldn't go down together. She wanted to go back down the steps.
I knew that once she went down the slide, she would love it. The question was whether I could get her to go down. I had checked out the water at the bottom. It wasn't too deep. She could stand up. And her dad was waiting for her. I was going down the slide right next to her and would hit the water at the same time as her.
After five minutes of dithering and crying, I got her to sit on the slide. Then I did the only thing I could. I gave her a push. Thirty seconds later, I was climbing out of the pool with a grinning child who couldn't wait to go again.
Sitting at the top of the slide, my daughter lacked the one thing that would get her moving -- trust. She didn't trust that I knew what I was talking about when I said it would be fun. She needed a little push to get going.
And so often, we lack trust that God knows what He's talking about. When tough things come our way -- from a lost job to a chronic illness to a child who has lost their way -- we forget that God has it all in control. We're afraid to step out down a new path that God has called us to because we don't trust enough.
God wants us to trust Him. He has proven over and over again through the ages that He is trustworthy. Psalm 9:10 says "Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you." No matter the circumstances, God is trustworthy. He has never forgotten those who trust in Him.
Patti Hazlett has written a great post about trusting God on her blog, For Such a Time as This. She's struggling with having lost her job. Her honesty and the wisdom she imparts will make you do some soul searching about whether you really trust God. Check out it and the other great posts on her blog. You won't be sorry you did.
God has promised "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). We simply have to step out and trust those words. If we push aside our fears and take a step forward, we'll find ourselves saying to God, "Let's go again."
Showing posts with label Romans 8:28. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Romans 8:28. Show all posts
Friday, September 23, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Answering the Tough Questions
All this week, Everyday Truth is focusing on how to talk with our kids about the events of 9/11.
As my kids have gotten older, the questions they ask have gotten harder. While I enjoy being able to converse with my kids at a higher level than when they were preschoolers, some days I'd like to go back to those days where the toughest thing they asked was "Why is the sky blue?"
It's natural to shy away from the tough questions. Sometimes it's easier just to change the subject or offer up a distraction rather than deal with questions from our kids that have no good answers. But that a disservice to our kids.
As we talk with our kids about 9/11 this week, they're going to ask some tough questions. The way we answer those questions is going to make a difference in not only how our kids view the events of 10 years ago but how they view bad things that happen in the future.
To give you a starting point, here are some of the tough questions your kids might ask and a starting point for your answers. Remember to keep it simple and straightforward. We don't want to scare our kids, but we do want to give them a framework for dealing with the bad stuff that happens in life.
Why did 9/11 happen?
I think this is the toughest question. There's simply no good answer except that we live in a fallen world. Evil exists and it was in evidence on that day. Talk with your kids about how because Adam and Eve chose to sin, the world is not a perfect place. God gives us the ability to choose what we do. Unfortunately, some people made some really horrible choices on that day that affected thousands of lives.
Romans 3:23 says "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." The sin of the hijackers on the airplanes and those who planned the attacks simply had far greater consequences than a lot of the sins we commit every day.
Why didn't God stop it?
Talk with your kids about the fact that God could have stopped those planes from hitting those buildings. He's powerful enough. But God allows us to make choices. If we were all like robots, only doing what God allowed us to do, then God wouldn't get any glory from our praise. Our ability to make choices means that when we choose to follow God, He is glorified.
The people behind 9/11 chose to disobey God. Unfortunately, that created far-reaching consequences for innocent people. However, God has used the events of that day for good. We watched our country pull together and support one another. Some people started seeking God because of the events of that day. We can't know how God is even now using the events of that day for good because we can't see the big picture. What we do know is that God promises "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)
Is Islam bad?
We don't want to teach our kids to hate or judge people based on what they believe. Jesus never did that. He went into the homes of tax collectors, prostitutes and Pharisees. He never withheld his love because of who someone was or what he believed.
The people who planned 9/11 were Muslim, but we don't want our kids to think that every person who practices Islam believes that Americans are bad. That's simply not true.
However, we do want our kids to know that we believe that what Islam teaches is wrong. There is only one way to God, and that's through Jesus. Talk with your kids about the fact that people believe different things. Jesus said He was the only way to God, but He doesn't want us to dislike people based only on what they believe. The only way others can know the truth about Jesus is if we share it with them. We can't do that if we're busy hating people because of the religion that they follow.
Explain to your kids that while the people who created the chaos on 9/11 were Muslim, it's possible for anyone to twist any religion to suit their own purposes. People have done horrible things in the name of Christ, too. Just because one person does a terrible thing and blames it on his religion doesn't mean we should tar all the others with the same brush.
The questions that arise around 9/11 don't come with easy answers. But answering our kids tough questions with honesty and an age-appropriate explanation can go a long way toward helping them sort out what happened that day.
Be deliberate in answering your kids' questions because your answers matter. They will help your kids sort through the tragic events of 10 years ago, but they will also be the lens through which they view tough things in the future.
As my kids have gotten older, the questions they ask have gotten harder. While I enjoy being able to converse with my kids at a higher level than when they were preschoolers, some days I'd like to go back to those days where the toughest thing they asked was "Why is the sky blue?"
It's natural to shy away from the tough questions. Sometimes it's easier just to change the subject or offer up a distraction rather than deal with questions from our kids that have no good answers. But that a disservice to our kids.
As we talk with our kids about 9/11 this week, they're going to ask some tough questions. The way we answer those questions is going to make a difference in not only how our kids view the events of 10 years ago but how they view bad things that happen in the future.
To give you a starting point, here are some of the tough questions your kids might ask and a starting point for your answers. Remember to keep it simple and straightforward. We don't want to scare our kids, but we do want to give them a framework for dealing with the bad stuff that happens in life.
Why did 9/11 happen?
I think this is the toughest question. There's simply no good answer except that we live in a fallen world. Evil exists and it was in evidence on that day. Talk with your kids about how because Adam and Eve chose to sin, the world is not a perfect place. God gives us the ability to choose what we do. Unfortunately, some people made some really horrible choices on that day that affected thousands of lives.
Romans 3:23 says "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." The sin of the hijackers on the airplanes and those who planned the attacks simply had far greater consequences than a lot of the sins we commit every day.
Why didn't God stop it?
Talk with your kids about the fact that God could have stopped those planes from hitting those buildings. He's powerful enough. But God allows us to make choices. If we were all like robots, only doing what God allowed us to do, then God wouldn't get any glory from our praise. Our ability to make choices means that when we choose to follow God, He is glorified.
The people behind 9/11 chose to disobey God. Unfortunately, that created far-reaching consequences for innocent people. However, God has used the events of that day for good. We watched our country pull together and support one another. Some people started seeking God because of the events of that day. We can't know how God is even now using the events of that day for good because we can't see the big picture. What we do know is that God promises "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)
Is Islam bad?
We don't want to teach our kids to hate or judge people based on what they believe. Jesus never did that. He went into the homes of tax collectors, prostitutes and Pharisees. He never withheld his love because of who someone was or what he believed.
The people who planned 9/11 were Muslim, but we don't want our kids to think that every person who practices Islam believes that Americans are bad. That's simply not true.
However, we do want our kids to know that we believe that what Islam teaches is wrong. There is only one way to God, and that's through Jesus. Talk with your kids about the fact that people believe different things. Jesus said He was the only way to God, but He doesn't want us to dislike people based only on what they believe. The only way others can know the truth about Jesus is if we share it with them. We can't do that if we're busy hating people because of the religion that they follow.
Explain to your kids that while the people who created the chaos on 9/11 were Muslim, it's possible for anyone to twist any religion to suit their own purposes. People have done horrible things in the name of Christ, too. Just because one person does a terrible thing and blames it on his religion doesn't mean we should tar all the others with the same brush.
The questions that arise around 9/11 don't come with easy answers. But answering our kids tough questions with honesty and an age-appropriate explanation can go a long way toward helping them sort out what happened that day.
Be deliberate in answering your kids' questions because your answers matter. They will help your kids sort through the tragic events of 10 years ago, but they will also be the lens through which they view tough things in the future.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Mercies in Disguise
I heard a new song on the radio the other day called Blessings, sung by Laura Story. The words to the song so stunned me that I nearly had to pull over the car to listen. If you haven't heard it, check it out here:
I know that God uses difficult things in our lives to help us grow, but this gave me a whole new perspective on the tough stuff that happens in life. Now, God never causes bad things to happen to us, but He doesn't always stop things from happening. The consequences of sin are that we live in an imperfect world with death, disease and tragedy.
But this song made me stop and reflect on the fact that sometimes it takes those things to get my attention. Sometimes in order to get as close to God as possible it takes a tragedy for me to draw near to Him. Sometimes the trials of this life are His mercies in disguise. I look back at moments in my life when I've dealt with stuff that at that moment I could not possibly believe I would find good in, but I find that those are the moments when my relationship with God grew the most.
If you look back on those moments in your life when you were at your lowest, you will probably find that God was right there with you, carrying you along. You may have felt closer to God at your lowest low than you did at your highest high.
Teaching our kids to look for God in the midst of trouble is an important part of helping them mature as Christ followers. Following Jesus doesn't put some magic shield around us that keeps us from dealing with any of the tragedy that happens in this imperfect world. Our kids need to know that God is there in the good times and the bad times, and they can rely on Him on all the time.
The words to the chorus are:
‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
I know that God uses difficult things in our lives to help us grow, but this gave me a whole new perspective on the tough stuff that happens in life. Now, God never causes bad things to happen to us, but He doesn't always stop things from happening. The consequences of sin are that we live in an imperfect world with death, disease and tragedy.
But this song made me stop and reflect on the fact that sometimes it takes those things to get my attention. Sometimes in order to get as close to God as possible it takes a tragedy for me to draw near to Him. Sometimes the trials of this life are His mercies in disguise. I look back at moments in my life when I've dealt with stuff that at that moment I could not possibly believe I would find good in, but I find that those are the moments when my relationship with God grew the most.
If you look back on those moments in your life when you were at your lowest, you will probably find that God was right there with you, carrying you along. You may have felt closer to God at your lowest low than you did at your highest high.
Teaching our kids to look for God in the midst of trouble is an important part of helping them mature as Christ followers. Following Jesus doesn't put some magic shield around us that keeps us from dealing with any of the tragedy that happens in this imperfect world. Our kids need to know that God is there in the good times and the bad times, and they can rely on Him on all the time.
- When things don't go your child's way, remind them that God is always near. Draw your child a picture of a fork in the road. Explain that every time we hit a crisis, we can go down one of two paths. We can walk the road with God or we can walk away from God. God never moves, but we choose to walk beside Him or far away from Him. Walking the road with Him doesn't mean that the crisis will go away, but it does mean we can draw on God's wisdom and love as we walk that road.
- When your child is in the midst of a crisis, pray with her. Show her how to ask God to be with her and to help her deal with whatever comes her way. Ask God to be visible in the way He shows His love to her. Ask for wisdom in dealing with the issue.
- After the crisis has passed, help your child identify ways in which he grew through the crisis. Talk about anything good that has come out of dealing with the issue. Ask your child how he feels about how God helped him throughout the crisis. By identifying the ways in which God used something bad to create something good, you help your child see God at work. Remind your child of Romans 8:28, which says "All things work together for good for those who love Him."
Monday, January 17, 2011
Memory Monday: Working Through Disappointment (Romans 8:28)
Do you like the Everyday Truth blog? Want to go deeper in learning how to teach your children Biblical truths? Join me for the Everyday Truth Bible study from 9:30-11:30 on Wednesday mornings at Westside Family Church in Lenexa. Childcare is available. Register at Westside Family Church. Click on LifeStudies and type Everyday Truth into the search box.
Can't join me in the mornings? I'll be teaching a new parenting study called Laying the Foundation: Being the Parent God Intended on Wednesday evenings from 6:30-8. We'll be looking at how we can model our parenting on God's example so we can be the parent our children need. This study is co-ed, and childcare is available. Register at Westside Family Church. Click on LifeStudies and type Laying the Foundation into the search box.
My 7-year-old daughter recently went to an event she had been looking forward to for a long time. She was so excited about getting to do something fun and sharing it with her friends. Unfortunately, she got put into a group that didn't have any of her friends in it. Although she had fun, when she came home the thing she was most focused on was her disappointment in not getting to share the event with her friends. It took me a good 10 minutes to get her to start focusing on the things that she did like about the evening.
It seems to be human nature to focus on the things that go wrong instead of the things that go right. Disappointment is a part of life, and we need to help our kids understand that they will be disappointed, but there is always something good to come out of that disappointment. Romans 8:28 says "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." This verse simply means that if you are a Christ-follower, then God can use anything -- disappointments and hurts included -- for our good.
As you memorize this verse this week, work with your kids to help them see how God has used and is using their hurts and disappointments for their good. Remind them that sometimes it may take a while for them to see how God can use something that we consider bad for our good. Help your children to understand that this verse doesn't mean that nothing bad will ever happen to them. It simply means that God can take those hurts and tears and use them to honor Him.
Can't join me in the mornings? I'll be teaching a new parenting study called Laying the Foundation: Being the Parent God Intended on Wednesday evenings from 6:30-8. We'll be looking at how we can model our parenting on God's example so we can be the parent our children need. This study is co-ed, and childcare is available. Register at Westside Family Church. Click on LifeStudies and type Laying the Foundation into the search box.
My 7-year-old daughter recently went to an event she had been looking forward to for a long time. She was so excited about getting to do something fun and sharing it with her friends. Unfortunately, she got put into a group that didn't have any of her friends in it. Although she had fun, when she came home the thing she was most focused on was her disappointment in not getting to share the event with her friends. It took me a good 10 minutes to get her to start focusing on the things that she did like about the evening.
It seems to be human nature to focus on the things that go wrong instead of the things that go right. Disappointment is a part of life, and we need to help our kids understand that they will be disappointed, but there is always something good to come out of that disappointment. Romans 8:28 says "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." This verse simply means that if you are a Christ-follower, then God can use anything -- disappointments and hurts included -- for our good.
As you memorize this verse this week, work with your kids to help them see how God has used and is using their hurts and disappointments for their good. Remind them that sometimes it may take a while for them to see how God can use something that we consider bad for our good. Help your children to understand that this verse doesn't mean that nothing bad will ever happen to them. It simply means that God can take those hurts and tears and use them to honor Him.
- When your child faces a hurt or a disappointment, ask them to think of another time that they were hurt or disappointed that eventually turned out OK. Help them to focus on the end result instead of the moment of hurt. When I finally got my daughter to talk about something other than her disappointment at being separated from her friends, she discovered that she really did have a good time at the event. Helping your kids move past the immediate pain of the situation to focus on the "big picture" lets them see that while an event may hurt for a little while, they may gain something important from the situation.
- Play the Pollyana game. Pollyana is the story of a little girl who is able to find the good in every situation. It's a great book, and if you haven't read it with your kids, I highly recommend it. To play the Pollyana game, simply ask your kids to name one good thing about whatever situation their in. The game forces them to look for the glimmer of good in a bad situation.
- Don't gloss over your children's feelings of hurt or disappointment. Let them pour out their hearts to you before trying to get them to see that there is life on the other side. It's important to let them know that it's OK to feel hurt and disappointment as long as we don't wallow in those feelings forever. It's our job as parents to let our kids express their feelings and then help them to move past the situation.
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