I'm Thankful for Family

Each day until Thanksgiving, Everyday Truth is looking at a different reason to be thankful in a family devotional. Use these devotionals with your kids to help keep your family focused on giving thanks. If you missed the introductory post, check it out here for directions on creating a "Thanksgiving wall." When you're done wiht the devotional head on over to the Everyday Truth Facebook page and join in the discussion of why we're thankful for our families.

God gave each of us a family. That family may look different from home to home, but he gave each of us people who love and care for us. People who protect us. People who are always looking out for us.

You may have a mom and a dad and a bunch of brothers and sisters. Or you may live in a home where you're the only child. Some of you may only live with one of your parents, and some kids even live with their grandparents.

No matter what your family looks like, remember that God gave you the members of your family. He knew we need parents to guide us and siblings to hang out with. He knew that sometimes tough things would happen during the day, and we would need a place to come home to where we would be loved and comforted.

Have you ever had something bad happen to you when you were away from home? Maybe another kid was mean to you or something embarrassing happened to you. Maybe all you wanted to do was go home because you knew your family would understand. You knew they would make you feel better.

Have you ever had a problem that you didn't know how to solve? God gave us families to help us through our problems. He gave us parents to offer us wisdom and to teach us the right thing to do. He gave us brothers and sisters who can listen to us and help us come up with solutions.

God even gave Jesus a family because He knew Jesus would need a welcoming place to grow up. Jesus had a mom and dad and brothers and sisters. He grew up in a loving family. His parents loved Him and guided Him. And His mother, Mary, treasured every moment with Him.

The Bible tells us we each have a role to play in our family. Moms and dads are supposed to teach and guide their children. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 is talking to parents. It says: "These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." A parent's job is to teach their kids about God.

Kids have a special role to play in the family, too. Exodus 20:12 says "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." That means kids need to respect and obey their parents.

God created the family as a place where we can be loved and learn about Him. I'm thankful for my family, and I hope you are, too.

Write the reasons you're thankful for your family on your Thanksgiving wall. Pray together and thank God for each other.

Sibling Love

Some days, I think my girls would rather eat nails than spend time with one another. Like any siblings, they argue over silly things, get jealous of each other and do what they can to annoy one another. But, other days, they love each other, stand up for each other and help each other. It's sometimes like living with Jekyll and Hyde.

Yesterday, my youngest came home with a paper that she had written at school. The question was "If you could spend the afternoon with any member of your extended family, who would it be?" This is what my youngest wrote:

I would spend the time with my sister because she loves me and without her I would be super bored.
She cheers me up when I am sad.
When I am hurt she gets my mom and she's always there for me.

When I read it, I had to smile. Despite the way my girls act sometimes, they really get it. They understand that their sister is going to be there for them. Both girls know that when the chips are down her sister will be standing there beside her.

I want my girls to be friends as well as sisters -- the kind of friends who will drop everything for the other one. John 15:13 says "Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." That's the kind of friends I want my girls to be.

Siblings go through phases where they often seem not to like each other. But, if we foster an atmosphere of working together and always supporting each other in our families, our kids will get it.

• Make supporting each other a priority in your family. In our house, unless the weather is beyond miserable or the other child has her own event, we all go to every game or concert. We tell our girls that it's part of being a family. If we're at a game, the sibling not playing is expected to sit, watch and cheer while the game is going on -- no going off to play on the playground or run around with the other younger siblings. The reason we're all there is to support the child playing, and we expect the non-participating sibling to be supporting her sister as well.
• Foster cooperation. While the temptation is often to separate our kids when they're arguing, forcing them to work together to accomplish a task makes them work through their issues. If my girls are at each others' throats, I'll often give them a chore to complete together. Ecclesiastes 4:9 says "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor." Usually by the time my girls are done with their chore, they've forgotten what they were arguing about in the first place.
• Don't tolerate words that tear each other down. When your kids start to say mean things to each other, send them outside to sit on the front step -- no matter the weather. Calmly explain that you don't allow that kind of talk in your house and send them out the door. Tell them they can come back in when they have tamed their tongues and apologized to each other.
• Don't compare. Each of your children is unique. They are not going to react the same way or accomplish the same things. No matter how great the temptation, avoid comparing your children. This sets up competition and resentment. There's enough natural competition between siblings. We, as parents, don't need to add to it.

I was reminded by my daughter's paper yesterday that my girls really do get it. They love each other and know the other one has their back. I let my older daughter read the paper. She didn't say much, but the smile on her face told me she felt special. Help your kids understand that family is about drawing close and circling the wagons when someone in the family is having a tough time.

Family should be an extension of God's love here on earth. The arms of your family members should be the tangible arms of God's love. Help your children be those arms to their siblings, so that atmosphere of love will last even when you're no longer around to encourage it.

Stop the Bickering

I think my girls have been home more than they have gone to school in January. Between Christmas break, snow days, Martin Luther King day and sick days, we've spent a lot of time at home. The weather has been cold and wet, which means we've spent much of that time cooped up in the house together.

Now, I don't know what happens in your house when your kids spend a lot of time together inside, but in my house, those days generally deteriorate into my children saying things to each other that aren't very nice. Sometimes, gasp, the situation becomes so charged that they will hit or shove one another.

Sibling bickering is a part of most families. Having to share anything with another person goes against our naturally selfish natures. It's not natural for us to want to think about someone else before we think about ourselves. When we think only of ourselves, it's easy to say something we don't really mean or to lash out at someone else when things don't go our way. When your young and your brain has yet to develop all the brakes for impulse control, it's even easier.

The constant bickering can drive parents nuts. Too often, we simply react by separating our kids or offering up punishment without explanation. I know that my first reaction is to make my girls go sit in separate rooms. While that's a valid response and stops the immediate problem, it doesn't help my girls learn to get along or learn to think before they speak.

If  you are caught in the throes of sibling bickering, try some of these ideas.

• Have your kids memorize Ephesians 4:29, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." When you hear them saying something that doesn't fit the instruction in this verse, have them repeat the verse to you. Then ask them if they think what they just said fits with the directions in the verse.
• Cut out some lips from construction paper. Give each child a set of lips and a Band-Aid. Tell them that when they want to say something mean to their sibling, they should go stick the Band-Aid on the construction paper lips as a reminder not to say mean and hurtful things.
• Talk about putting others first. Read Philippians 2:3-4, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." Talk about how when we get caught up in what we want, instead of putting others first, we can hurt other people with our words.
• Give your children a task to do together on a regular basis. Forcing them to work together gives them opportunities to work out their differences. It also lets them see that the other sibling can be a help to them.

If your kids are anything like mine, you'll have plenty of opportunity to work on stopping the bickering during the cold, snowy days of winter.  Remember to hold onto your own frustration and help your kids take the focus off their own wants and put their focus on the needs of others.