Each day until Thanksgiving, Everyday Truth is looking at a different reason to be thankful in a family devotional. Use these devotionals with your kids to help keep your family focused on giving thanks. If you missed the introductory post, check it out here for directions on creating a "Thanksgiving wall." When you're done wiht the devotional head on over to the Everyday Truth Facebook page and join in the discussion of why we're thankful for our families.
Do you have a best friend? Someone that you like to hang out with? Someone that you want to talk to when something exciting happens?
My daughter has a best friend that she's known since she was born. They love to hang out together. If my daughter is bored or has something exciting to share, she wants to immediately see her friend. They go to the movies together, sit together at lunch and have sleepovers. They never seem to run out of things to talk about. They've even shared birthday parties.
Friends are one of God's gifts to us. He gives us friends so we don't have to go through life alone. God knows that sometimes life gets tough. He gives us friends to encourage us and cheer us up during the tough times.
Think about your friends and what you like to do with them. Share your favorite thing to do with your friends. Now, think about how much fun that thing would be to do by yourself. Generally, the things we do with our friends aren't as much fun when we do them by ourselves. It's hard to play a board game or jump rope by yourself. A game of basketball isn't a game unless there's more than one person.
Friends can also help us out. They can make a job seem easier and go by quicker. If your mom or dad told you to go rake all the leaves in your yard, it would seem like a big job. However, if you found a couple of friends to help, it wouldn't take any time at all to finish.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
If we have good friends, then they will be there to help us up when we fall down. They will help us complete a task. They can help us stand up to a bully. We can do all those things alone, but the job is easier with a friend.
Be thankful for your friends today. Add some leaves or sticky notes to your Thanksgiving wall with the names of your friends on them. And be sure to tell your friends how thankful you are for them. A great way to do that is to write them a note and tell them how grateful you are for their friendship. Make it a point to thank at least one of your friends for their friendship today.
Pray together and thank God for your friends. Thank Him for all the ways that friends make life more fun.
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Summer Fun: 39 Clues to You -- Week 6
"I can do it myself." We have all heard those words (usually said in a less than pleasant tone at a less than pleasant volume). We all seem to have an innate need to be independent.
I think Americans are more prone to having independent natures than a lot of places in the world. Our culture is steeped in the historical lore of men and women who came to this country and made something of themselves with nothing but hard work and determination. While this trait is good in many ways, it can also be isolating.
Because we are so determined to do things on our own and not rely on anyone else, we can unintentionally cut ourselves off from fellowship with others. We all need community. We need people we can rely on when things get tough. And we need people who can simply share our lives with us.
Too often, our kids get caught up in a "my way or the highway" attitude, which alienates their friends and leads to someone stomping off mad. Put four kids in a room, and I guarantee that it won't take long for one of them to get upset because the other ones won't do something that she wants to do.
Today's installment of our summer adventure is going to focus on the importance of working together and respecting others. Our verses for the week are Ecclesiastes 4:9-12: "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
To make the point that we need one another, we're going to do a task that isn't a whole lot of fun. I'm going to dump a bunch of Legos on the floor and make the girls pick out all the blue pieces. Now, we have a lot of Legos in this house, so the task is going to seem daunting. But with six girls, they should make short work of the job.
We'll talk about how working together made that overwhelming task seem easier. If we have any frustrations with each other, we'll talk about how to resolve them so we can all work toward the same goal.
When the girls are done, we're going to talk about how God wants us to work together for Him. I'll give each of the girls three pieces of yarn. We'll see how easy it is to break a strand of yarn all by itself. Then we'll twist two pieces together and try to break that. We'll braid three pieces together and try to break that. The braided piece should be strong enough that we won't be able to pull it apart.
We'll talk about how when we add God to the mix in our relationships, we create a bond that is not easily broken. We'll talk about how when we have disagreements with our friends, we need to think about what God would want us to do in that situation. And we'll hit on the importance of taking those issues to God in prayer.
Our featured child for the day is my youngest daughter. I'm going to take them all ice skating tomorrow, but today, we're going to do one of my daughter's other favorite things: cooking. We'll make cupcakes, and everyone will get a chance to read part of the recipe and add some ingredients. When we've finished making the cupcakes, we'll talk about how all the different ingredients worked together to create a yummy cupcake, just like we need to work together to accomplish God's plans.
Before they leave today, I pray these girls will have a better understanding of their need for each other and the importance of working together.
I think Americans are more prone to having independent natures than a lot of places in the world. Our culture is steeped in the historical lore of men and women who came to this country and made something of themselves with nothing but hard work and determination. While this trait is good in many ways, it can also be isolating.
Because we are so determined to do things on our own and not rely on anyone else, we can unintentionally cut ourselves off from fellowship with others. We all need community. We need people we can rely on when things get tough. And we need people who can simply share our lives with us.
Too often, our kids get caught up in a "my way or the highway" attitude, which alienates their friends and leads to someone stomping off mad. Put four kids in a room, and I guarantee that it won't take long for one of them to get upset because the other ones won't do something that she wants to do.
Today's installment of our summer adventure is going to focus on the importance of working together and respecting others. Our verses for the week are Ecclesiastes 4:9-12: "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
To make the point that we need one another, we're going to do a task that isn't a whole lot of fun. I'm going to dump a bunch of Legos on the floor and make the girls pick out all the blue pieces. Now, we have a lot of Legos in this house, so the task is going to seem daunting. But with six girls, they should make short work of the job.
We'll talk about how working together made that overwhelming task seem easier. If we have any frustrations with each other, we'll talk about how to resolve them so we can all work toward the same goal.
When the girls are done, we're going to talk about how God wants us to work together for Him. I'll give each of the girls three pieces of yarn. We'll see how easy it is to break a strand of yarn all by itself. Then we'll twist two pieces together and try to break that. We'll braid three pieces together and try to break that. The braided piece should be strong enough that we won't be able to pull it apart.
We'll talk about how when we add God to the mix in our relationships, we create a bond that is not easily broken. We'll talk about how when we have disagreements with our friends, we need to think about what God would want us to do in that situation. And we'll hit on the importance of taking those issues to God in prayer.
Our featured child for the day is my youngest daughter. I'm going to take them all ice skating tomorrow, but today, we're going to do one of my daughter's other favorite things: cooking. We'll make cupcakes, and everyone will get a chance to read part of the recipe and add some ingredients. When we've finished making the cupcakes, we'll talk about how all the different ingredients worked together to create a yummy cupcake, just like we need to work together to accomplish God's plans.
Before they leave today, I pray these girls will have a better understanding of their need for each other and the importance of working together.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Joy Shared
I'm sure the neighbors heard us celebrating last night. My beloved Boston Bruins brought home the Stanley Cup for the first time in 39 years last night.
I didn't have to console my 8-year-old with a speech about how sometimes we work really hard for something, but it just doesn't work out and the important thing is that we do our best. Instead, we got to watch Bruins captain Zdeno Chara hoist the cup over his head, then give it a big kiss. It was a wonderful moment, made even sweeter because I had someone with which to share it.
You see, I've been in this spot before. Besides being a Bruins fan, I'm a Red Sox fan. When the Sox ended their 86-year World Series title drought in 2004, my parents were out of the country, my daughters were too little to care, and my husband thinks my sports obsession is a bit over the top. When the Red Sox won, there was no one with whom to celebrate. While the victory was sweet, it was lonely.
Last night, my daughters were granted a bedtime reprieve to watch the game. When the final seconds clicked off the clock, we all cheered together. We discussed the great plays of the game and watched the Bruins goalie pick up his well-earned MVP award.
Even had the Bruins lost, it would have been easier to bear with the commiseration of my girls. We would have discussed what a great run it had been and dissected the missed opportunities. Sorrow shared would have been sorrow lessened.
Life is a lot like our hockey celebration. It's much sweeter when it's shared. God never intended for us to go about life alone. One of the first things God said after He created the world was "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18)
God knew that life lived by yourself is a lonely existence. We were made for companionship -- the companionship of a spouse, friends, children and family. Shared joy is sweeter, and shared sorrows are lighter.
Sometimes, we thinkt that we can go it alone. We don't need companionship to grow spiritually. We don't need anyone to share in our lives. But God never intended for us to be Lone Ranger Christ-followers. Even Jesus surrounded Himself with companionship in His disciples.
If you're trying to go it alone, stop. Find someone with whom you share some common interests and begin sharing your life. This requires openness and transparency, and it's not always easy. Opening ourselves up to others brings with the inherent risk that that person can hurt us. But if we shut ourselves off from the rest of the world and make no effort to connect with others, then we condemn ourselves to a life half-lived. A life where there's no one with whom to celebrate the joys or share the sorrows.
And, if we live a life without reaching out to others, we teach our kids to rely only on themselves as well. We rob them of the opportunity to share their joys and lessen their sorrows. We teach them that living an insular life is good because it lessens your chances for hurt. But they lose the opportunity to enjoy the amazing diversity of people God puts in their path.
God intended for our lives to be shared. He doesn't want us to walk alone. If you have created a life where there is no one to share your laughter or your tears, reach out today. Ask God to show you people with whom you can connect.
And if you are connected with others, look outside your small circle of friends to find someone who needs connection, too. Draw them in and begin to share in their lives. Life will be sweeter for both of you.
I didn't have to console my 8-year-old with a speech about how sometimes we work really hard for something, but it just doesn't work out and the important thing is that we do our best. Instead, we got to watch Bruins captain Zdeno Chara hoist the cup over his head, then give it a big kiss. It was a wonderful moment, made even sweeter because I had someone with which to share it.
You see, I've been in this spot before. Besides being a Bruins fan, I'm a Red Sox fan. When the Sox ended their 86-year World Series title drought in 2004, my parents were out of the country, my daughters were too little to care, and my husband thinks my sports obsession is a bit over the top. When the Red Sox won, there was no one with whom to celebrate. While the victory was sweet, it was lonely.
Last night, my daughters were granted a bedtime reprieve to watch the game. When the final seconds clicked off the clock, we all cheered together. We discussed the great plays of the game and watched the Bruins goalie pick up his well-earned MVP award.
Even had the Bruins lost, it would have been easier to bear with the commiseration of my girls. We would have discussed what a great run it had been and dissected the missed opportunities. Sorrow shared would have been sorrow lessened.
Life is a lot like our hockey celebration. It's much sweeter when it's shared. God never intended for us to go about life alone. One of the first things God said after He created the world was "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18)
God knew that life lived by yourself is a lonely existence. We were made for companionship -- the companionship of a spouse, friends, children and family. Shared joy is sweeter, and shared sorrows are lighter.
Sometimes, we thinkt that we can go it alone. We don't need companionship to grow spiritually. We don't need anyone to share in our lives. But God never intended for us to be Lone Ranger Christ-followers. Even Jesus surrounded Himself with companionship in His disciples.
If you're trying to go it alone, stop. Find someone with whom you share some common interests and begin sharing your life. This requires openness and transparency, and it's not always easy. Opening ourselves up to others brings with the inherent risk that that person can hurt us. But if we shut ourselves off from the rest of the world and make no effort to connect with others, then we condemn ourselves to a life half-lived. A life where there's no one with whom to celebrate the joys or share the sorrows.
And, if we live a life without reaching out to others, we teach our kids to rely only on themselves as well. We rob them of the opportunity to share their joys and lessen their sorrows. We teach them that living an insular life is good because it lessens your chances for hurt. But they lose the opportunity to enjoy the amazing diversity of people God puts in their path.
God intended for our lives to be shared. He doesn't want us to walk alone. If you have created a life where there is no one to share your laughter or your tears, reach out today. Ask God to show you people with whom you can connect.
And if you are connected with others, look outside your small circle of friends to find someone who needs connection, too. Draw them in and begin to share in their lives. Life will be sweeter for both of you.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Unexpected Friends
I had lunch yesterday with a friend of mine. She has a very different life than me. She's single with no kids and is working on her master's degree. She's also my youngest daughter's hockey instructor. We first met her when we went to buy my daughter's first set of hockey gear. I wrote about our first meeting with her in one of my first blog posts, Finding God in the Sporting Goods Store. She's been a blessing to my daughter, but as my daughter got to know her, I realized I wanted to get to know her, too. She's been a staunch supporter of my daughter's hockey dreams, offering advice and encouragement. But hockey aside, she's also smart, funny, vibrant and genuine. Definitely someone I wanted to get to know.
Somewhere over the course of the past year we became friends. We occasionally go out to lunch and regularly text back and forth. She broadens my perspective on the world simply because her life is different from mine.
On my way home from lunch yesterday, I realized I am blessed. While the vast majority of my friendships are with women who are in the same place in life as me, my world is enriched by some amazing friendships with women who are in different ages and stages of life. God has made such a huge variety of people in this world, and our lives are enriched when we get to share them with people who are different from us.
We naturally tend to gravitate toward people who have similar likes and dislikes and who are in situations similar to ours. But, if we avoid relationships with people who are in different places in their lives than we are, we miss out on the joy those people can add to our lives and the joy we can bring to theirs.
We've all heard the saying, "Don't judge a book by its cover," but too often that's what we do when choosing our friends. Too often, we automatically rule out friendships with people who don't seem to share a common interest with us. Sometimes, we'll get a second shot at a relationship with that person, but most of the time we simply miss out on the richness that person can bring to our lives.
The Bible tells us that each of us is "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14) and even goes so far as to call each of us "God's masterpiece" (Ephesians 2:10). I don't want to miss out on the great variety of temperaments, talents and viewpoints that God has created. But to get to know those people who are different from us generally takes more effort than becoming friends with people with whom we have obvious things in common. Many times, we're not willing to put forth that effort, so we miss out on the masterpiece God made in someone else.
Looking below the surface trappings of our lives to see the people underneath is what God wants us to do. He wants us to see others with His eyes. 1 Samuel 16:7 says "The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” We want to be able to look beyond our obvious commonalities or our obvious differences and see underneath to the masterpiece that God created.
We also want to encourage our kids not to dismiss people they know as possible friends based on surface knowledge of that person. Encourage your kids to look beyond obvious commonalities and search for ways to connect with other kids who may be different from them. We can't expect our kids to be friends with everyone, but we can teach them to look for opportunities to be friends with a variety of people.
When we look beyond the surface picture, we might find that our single next door neighbor has a wicked sense of humor, or your child may find that the shy kid who sits next to him at school is actually a whiz at soccer. It simply takes a minute of our time and a little effort on our part to reach out and befriend those people in our lives who may seem different from us. I've found that those friendships always enrich the lives of both people involved.
So, today, look around your world with new eyes and see if you can identify someone in your life that might make a pretty good friend even if they are at a different place in their life from you. Encourage your children to see the kids around them with new eyes -- to look at all of the kids they know as potential friends. Who knows, you may find a new friend in the sporting goods aisle. I did.
Somewhere over the course of the past year we became friends. We occasionally go out to lunch and regularly text back and forth. She broadens my perspective on the world simply because her life is different from mine.
On my way home from lunch yesterday, I realized I am blessed. While the vast majority of my friendships are with women who are in the same place in life as me, my world is enriched by some amazing friendships with women who are in different ages and stages of life. God has made such a huge variety of people in this world, and our lives are enriched when we get to share them with people who are different from us.
We naturally tend to gravitate toward people who have similar likes and dislikes and who are in situations similar to ours. But, if we avoid relationships with people who are in different places in their lives than we are, we miss out on the joy those people can add to our lives and the joy we can bring to theirs.
We've all heard the saying, "Don't judge a book by its cover," but too often that's what we do when choosing our friends. Too often, we automatically rule out friendships with people who don't seem to share a common interest with us. Sometimes, we'll get a second shot at a relationship with that person, but most of the time we simply miss out on the richness that person can bring to our lives.
The Bible tells us that each of us is "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14) and even goes so far as to call each of us "God's masterpiece" (Ephesians 2:10). I don't want to miss out on the great variety of temperaments, talents and viewpoints that God has created. But to get to know those people who are different from us generally takes more effort than becoming friends with people with whom we have obvious things in common. Many times, we're not willing to put forth that effort, so we miss out on the masterpiece God made in someone else.
Looking below the surface trappings of our lives to see the people underneath is what God wants us to do. He wants us to see others with His eyes. 1 Samuel 16:7 says "The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” We want to be able to look beyond our obvious commonalities or our obvious differences and see underneath to the masterpiece that God created.
We also want to encourage our kids not to dismiss people they know as possible friends based on surface knowledge of that person. Encourage your kids to look beyond obvious commonalities and search for ways to connect with other kids who may be different from them. We can't expect our kids to be friends with everyone, but we can teach them to look for opportunities to be friends with a variety of people.
When we look beyond the surface picture, we might find that our single next door neighbor has a wicked sense of humor, or your child may find that the shy kid who sits next to him at school is actually a whiz at soccer. It simply takes a minute of our time and a little effort on our part to reach out and befriend those people in our lives who may seem different from us. I've found that those friendships always enrich the lives of both people involved.
So, today, look around your world with new eyes and see if you can identify someone in your life that might make a pretty good friend even if they are at a different place in their life from you. Encourage your children to see the kids around them with new eyes -- to look at all of the kids they know as potential friends. Who knows, you may find a new friend in the sporting goods aisle. I did.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Sibling Love
Some days, I think my girls would rather eat nails than spend time with one another. Like any siblings, they argue over silly things, get jealous of each other and do what they can to annoy one another. But, other days, they love each other, stand up for each other and help each other. It's sometimes like living with Jekyll and Hyde.
Yesterday, my youngest came home with a paper that she had written at school. The question was "If you could spend the afternoon with any member of your extended family, who would it be?" This is what my youngest wrote:
I would spend the time with my sister because she loves me and without her I would be super bored.
She cheers me up when I am sad.
When I am hurt she gets my mom and she's always there for me.
When I read it, I had to smile. Despite the way my girls act sometimes, they really get it. They understand that their sister is going to be there for them. Both girls know that when the chips are down her sister will be standing there beside her.
I want my girls to be friends as well as sisters -- the kind of friends who will drop everything for the other one. John 15:13 says "Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." That's the kind of friends I want my girls to be.
Siblings go through phases where they often seem not to like each other. But, if we foster an atmosphere of working together and always supporting each other in our families, our kids will get it.
Family should be an extension of God's love here on earth. The arms of your family members should be the tangible arms of God's love. Help your children be those arms to their siblings, so that atmosphere of love will last even when you're no longer around to encourage it.
Yesterday, my youngest came home with a paper that she had written at school. The question was "If you could spend the afternoon with any member of your extended family, who would it be?" This is what my youngest wrote:
I would spend the time with my sister because she loves me and without her I would be super bored.
She cheers me up when I am sad.
When I am hurt she gets my mom and she's always there for me.
When I read it, I had to smile. Despite the way my girls act sometimes, they really get it. They understand that their sister is going to be there for them. Both girls know that when the chips are down her sister will be standing there beside her.
I want my girls to be friends as well as sisters -- the kind of friends who will drop everything for the other one. John 15:13 says "Greater love has no one than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." That's the kind of friends I want my girls to be.
Siblings go through phases where they often seem not to like each other. But, if we foster an atmosphere of working together and always supporting each other in our families, our kids will get it.
- Make supporting each other a priority in your family. In our house, unless the weather is beyond miserable or the other child has her own event, we all go to every game or concert. We tell our girls that it's part of being a family. If we're at a game, the sibling not playing is expected to sit, watch and cheer while the game is going on -- no going off to play on the playground or run around with the other younger siblings. The reason we're all there is to support the child playing, and we expect the non-participating sibling to be supporting her sister as well.
- Foster cooperation. While the temptation is often to separate our kids when they're arguing, forcing them to work together to accomplish a task makes them work through their issues. If my girls are at each others' throats, I'll often give them a chore to complete together. Ecclesiastes 4:9 says "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor." Usually by the time my girls are done with their chore, they've forgotten what they were arguing about in the first place.
- Don't tolerate words that tear each other down. When your kids start to say mean things to each other, send them outside to sit on the front step -- no matter the weather. Calmly explain that you don't allow that kind of talk in your house and send them out the door. Tell them they can come back in when they have tamed their tongues and apologized to each other.
- Don't compare. Each of your children is unique. They are not going to react the same way or accomplish the same things. No matter how great the temptation, avoid comparing your children. This sets up competition and resentment. There's enough natural competition between siblings. We, as parents, don't need to add to it.
Family should be an extension of God's love here on earth. The arms of your family members should be the tangible arms of God's love. Help your children be those arms to their siblings, so that atmosphere of love will last even when you're no longer around to encourage it.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Friendship is More Important than Laser Tag
My youngest daughter's birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. She had long ago decided that she wanted to go play laser tag with her friends for her birthday. I had checked out the prices and decided she could take six friends. She was really, really excited about it.
Sunday, I clicked onto the laser tag website so I could call and make the reservations. When I popped up the website, there it was in big, bold letters -- YOU MUST BE 7 YEARS OLD AND 42 INCHES TALL TO PLAY.
Now, my daughter meets both of those requirements. She's turning 8, and she's taller than the height restriction. Two of her best friends, however, haven't turned 7 yet. They both turn 7 in the next month.
As I looked at those big, bold words on the website, I worried that telling my daughter was not going to be fun. Have I mentioned before that she's a bit of a drama queen? I envisioned much weeping and gnashing of teeth before she finally came to the conclusion that her friends were more important than a game of laser tag.
Much to my pleasure and surprise, my daughter was disappointed but immediately decided that we would have to do something else so her friends could come. I did promise her that we would take her to play laser tag sometime this summer, but it really didn't take any coaxing for her to decide that she wanted all of her friends at her party.
Rather than sacrifice her friendships on the altar of selfishness, she laid down the thing she wanted most so she could have the thing that was best for everyone. We're now planning a Super Mario birthday party here at home. More work for me but something that everyone can attend.
Friendships are valuable. Good friendships are rare. We need to treat them like the precious commodity that they are and teach our children to value them as well. Knowing that there are people in this world outside your family who truly love and accept you and choose to hang out with you makes the world a much better place.
Proverbs 18:24 tells us, "One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." We want to have and be the friend who sticks closer than a brother, and we want our children to have and be those friends as well. To do that, we must teach our kids to treasure their friendships.
I'm sure next year I'll be writing about my daughter's amazing laser tag 9th birthday party, but this year, we'll keep our party and our friends close to home.
Sunday, I clicked onto the laser tag website so I could call and make the reservations. When I popped up the website, there it was in big, bold letters -- YOU MUST BE 7 YEARS OLD AND 42 INCHES TALL TO PLAY.
Now, my daughter meets both of those requirements. She's turning 8, and she's taller than the height restriction. Two of her best friends, however, haven't turned 7 yet. They both turn 7 in the next month.
As I looked at those big, bold words on the website, I worried that telling my daughter was not going to be fun. Have I mentioned before that she's a bit of a drama queen? I envisioned much weeping and gnashing of teeth before she finally came to the conclusion that her friends were more important than a game of laser tag.
Much to my pleasure and surprise, my daughter was disappointed but immediately decided that we would have to do something else so her friends could come. I did promise her that we would take her to play laser tag sometime this summer, but it really didn't take any coaxing for her to decide that she wanted all of her friends at her party.
Rather than sacrifice her friendships on the altar of selfishness, she laid down the thing she wanted most so she could have the thing that was best for everyone. We're now planning a Super Mario birthday party here at home. More work for me but something that everyone can attend.
Friendships are valuable. Good friendships are rare. We need to treat them like the precious commodity that they are and teach our children to value them as well. Knowing that there are people in this world outside your family who truly love and accept you and choose to hang out with you makes the world a much better place.
Proverbs 18:24 tells us, "One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." We want to have and be the friend who sticks closer than a brother, and we want our children to have and be those friends as well. To do that, we must teach our kids to treasure their friendships.
- Lead by example. Let your kids see you making time for your friends. If they see you making choices that put others' needs ahead of your own, then they will be encouraged to do the same.
- Remind your kids of the ways that friends make life richer -- they help us, they have fun with us and they encourage us. Read Ecclesiastes 4:12 with your kids. It says, "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Give your child a piece of yarn and ask them to break it. They can probably do it with no trouble. Next, give them two strands of yarn and have them twist the two strands together and try to break it. It will be much harder. Last, give them three strands of yarn and have them braid the strands and try to break it. They probably won't be able to break the braid. Explain that the braid is like a friendship that includes God. It can't be broken easily.
- Encourage your kids to put their friends first. When they have a friend over, institute a friends first rule. The visiting friend gets to go first in games and other activities. This simply reminds your child to put their friends' needs ahead of their own.
- Help your children figure out how to solve problems with their friends. Don't let a disagreement turn into a rift that ruins a friendship. Teach your kids that forgiving each other is part of treasuring their friendships.
I'm sure next year I'll be writing about my daughter's amazing laser tag 9th birthday party, but this year, we'll keep our party and our friends close to home.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
The Best Gift: Friendship
Believe it or not, my youngest daughter is no longer counting down the days until Christmas. She's now using our advent calendar to count down to something that in her mind is a bigger event. You see, about four years ago, her best friend moved away -- a long way away. She's seen him about once a year since then. On Dec. 20, he arrives with his family on an airplane, and on Dec. 21, he will be at our house. The best part as far as my youngest is concerned is that he is most likely moving back for good. My youngest is counting the days until her friendship is restored to what she considers its rightful state.
She's more excited about her friend coming back than she is about whatever Santa is going to bring or any other Christmas tradition that we have. And that got me to thinking about some of our Christmas traditions. Many of our favorite Christmas traditions revolve around our friends. It just seems that Christmas is a time when we can take a step back and appreciate those people in our lives who are there to laugh with us when life is good and who are there to pick up the pieces when the world shatters around us.
God created us to be social beings, and the Bible talks a lot about the importance of good friends. Proverbs 17:17 says "A friend loves at all times," and John 15:13 tells us "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." God gives us a beautiful picture of friendship in Ruth and Naomi, Jonathan and David and Jesus and his disciples. We are not meant to go through life alone, and Christmas is the perfect time to nurture both our friendships and our children's friendships.
Help your kids to show their friends how much they value them. Small acts of service or a heartfelt gift will make your kids' friends feel loved and special.
She's more excited about her friend coming back than she is about whatever Santa is going to bring or any other Christmas tradition that we have. And that got me to thinking about some of our Christmas traditions. Many of our favorite Christmas traditions revolve around our friends. It just seems that Christmas is a time when we can take a step back and appreciate those people in our lives who are there to laugh with us when life is good and who are there to pick up the pieces when the world shatters around us.
God created us to be social beings, and the Bible talks a lot about the importance of good friends. Proverbs 17:17 says "A friend loves at all times," and John 15:13 tells us "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." God gives us a beautiful picture of friendship in Ruth and Naomi, Jonathan and David and Jesus and his disciples. We are not meant to go through life alone, and Christmas is the perfect time to nurture both our friendships and our children's friendships.
Help your kids to show their friends how much they value them. Small acts of service or a heartfelt gift will make your kids' friends feel loved and special.
- Ask your kids to tell you why they think friendship is important. Share with them the story of Jonathan and David. Talk about how Jonathan was willing to sacrifice for his friend. Talk about the types of sacrifices we can make for our friends -- choosing to let them play with a new toy or letting them go first in a game.
- Help your child to celebrate his friendships by letting him design and make gifts for them. Easy things for kids to make include cards with a piece of candy inside, a simple Christmas ornament, a snow globe made out of a baby food jar or necklaces or bracelets made out of beads. A plate of cookies has never been turned down by any kid I know.
- Make it a point to have friends in your home during the holiday season. Whether it's a cookie party for your kids and their friends or a Christmas open house for friends of the entire family or a quiet dinner with another family, place value on spending time with friends during the holidays.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Cookies!!!
In about two weeks, I'm going to have a dozen giggling, hyper kids in my kitchen, and I'll be handing them bowls full of sugar-laden icing. Am I crazy? Probably, but this is one of my girls' favorite Christmas traditions -- our annual cookie party.
When my oldest was 2, I decided it would be fun to have a couple of her friends over to decorate cookies. They had so much fun that we've done it every year since. The first party started with three kids, and over the years it has grown to about a dozen kids. We decorate cookies, play some games and find some simple ways to share the true meaning of Christmas with the kids who attend.
What started as a fun activity with a couple of preschoolers has turned into a full-fledged party with a purpose. My girls choose a charity, and we collect things from the attendees for that charity. One year we collected art supplies for our local children's hospital; another year we collected canned food for a food pantry. The girls get to have a party and hang out with their friends and they learn something about serving others. Every kid goes home with a plate of cookies for themselves and a plate of cookies to share.
To be honest, there are some years I'd like to do away with the cookie party. It's a lot of extra work in the days right before Christmas. But after every party, I see the smiles on the faces of those kids, and I know that it's worth it. I know those kids leave my house knowing that Christmas is about Jesus. They have all experienced joy and friendship in the two hours they're at our house. The cookie party is as much about reaching out to my kids' friends as it is about making my kids happy.
The more often our kids' friends are under our roofs having fun experiences, the more influence we have in their lives. The Bible tells us that God considers children precious and that we are to pour ourselves into their lives. Jesus said, "“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these” (Matthew 19:14). Using creative ideas, like a cookie party or a caroling party, we can draw our kids' friends to Jesus as we teach our own children.
So, gather up some of your kids' friends, make some time in your schedule and bake some cookies. When the day is over you'll be exhausted, but you will have made a difference in the lives of your children and their friends.
When my oldest was 2, I decided it would be fun to have a couple of her friends over to decorate cookies. They had so much fun that we've done it every year since. The first party started with three kids, and over the years it has grown to about a dozen kids. We decorate cookies, play some games and find some simple ways to share the true meaning of Christmas with the kids who attend.
What started as a fun activity with a couple of preschoolers has turned into a full-fledged party with a purpose. My girls choose a charity, and we collect things from the attendees for that charity. One year we collected art supplies for our local children's hospital; another year we collected canned food for a food pantry. The girls get to have a party and hang out with their friends and they learn something about serving others. Every kid goes home with a plate of cookies for themselves and a plate of cookies to share.
To be honest, there are some years I'd like to do away with the cookie party. It's a lot of extra work in the days right before Christmas. But after every party, I see the smiles on the faces of those kids, and I know that it's worth it. I know those kids leave my house knowing that Christmas is about Jesus. They have all experienced joy and friendship in the two hours they're at our house. The cookie party is as much about reaching out to my kids' friends as it is about making my kids happy.
The more often our kids' friends are under our roofs having fun experiences, the more influence we have in their lives. The Bible tells us that God considers children precious and that we are to pour ourselves into their lives. Jesus said, "“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these” (Matthew 19:14). Using creative ideas, like a cookie party or a caroling party, we can draw our kids' friends to Jesus as we teach our own children.
So, gather up some of your kids' friends, make some time in your schedule and bake some cookies. When the day is over you'll be exhausted, but you will have made a difference in the lives of your children and their friends.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Memory Monday: John 15:13
We had some unexpected visitors for dinner last night. My next-door neighbor sliced her hand open and had to go to the emergency room to get some stitches, so her three girls spent the evening at our house. Our girls are all close friends, so the girls all thought it was an unexpected party. When she got home from the ER, my neighbor told me about a woman that she had seen there. The mom had brought her middle child in because he had hit his head. She had two other children with her as well, one in a stroller.
My neighbor and I were talking about how glad we were that we had each other to depend on in situations like this one. However, my neighbor made the point that a couple of years ago, she might have been in the same situation as that mom at the ER tonight, with no one to call for help. That's a tough place to be as a parent. No matter where you live or how close your family lives to you, you need to cultivate friendships where you can call someone in the middle of the night for help. I'm blessed to have several friendships like that and even more blessed that some of them live in my neighborhood.
Friendships like these model the description of friendship found in our verse for this week, John 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." We're not often called to actually give up our physical lives for our friends, but laying down our lives may mean changing our plans to accommodate an unexpected crisis in a friends' life or even just taking the time to listen when your friend needs a sympathetic ear. Whatever it is, the joy you'll find in laying down your life for a friend is unmatched. And the relationship that forms when you do is much deeper than the superficial level we sometimes mistake for friendship.
Begin teaching this precept to your kids when they begin making friends. Teach them to put others first, and show them the rewards of "laying down" their lives for their friends.
My neighbor and I were talking about how glad we were that we had each other to depend on in situations like this one. However, my neighbor made the point that a couple of years ago, she might have been in the same situation as that mom at the ER tonight, with no one to call for help. That's a tough place to be as a parent. No matter where you live or how close your family lives to you, you need to cultivate friendships where you can call someone in the middle of the night for help. I'm blessed to have several friendships like that and even more blessed that some of them live in my neighborhood.
Friendships like these model the description of friendship found in our verse for this week, John 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." We're not often called to actually give up our physical lives for our friends, but laying down our lives may mean changing our plans to accommodate an unexpected crisis in a friends' life or even just taking the time to listen when your friend needs a sympathetic ear. Whatever it is, the joy you'll find in laying down your life for a friend is unmatched. And the relationship that forms when you do is much deeper than the superficial level we sometimes mistake for friendship.
Begin teaching this precept to your kids when they begin making friends. Teach them to put others first, and show them the rewards of "laying down" their lives for their friends.
- Give your kids three pieces of paper with the following words written on them, one on each piece of paper: Jesus, Others, Self. Ask your kids to put the papers in order of importance. The correct order is Jesus, Others, Self. If your children get the order correct, ask them to explain why they should put others before themselves. If they did not get the order correct, help them put the words in the correct order and talk about why Jesus and Others should be above ourselves.
- Have your child think about one of their good friends. Ask her what makes that friend a good friend. Make a list of the qualities found in a good friend. Ask your child to think about whether she is an example of those qualities. Talk about situations where her friends might need her to be a good friend. Talk about what she might do in those situations. For example, you might ask her what she would do if someone was mean to her friend and her friend was upset. Or ask her what she would do if she had plans to go to the movies with another friend and her friend was upset because her grandmother had died unexpectedly. The point is to make your child realize that being a good friend sometimes requires us to be inconvenienced to help another person. In those cases, our attitude is everything to our friends.
- When your child puts his friends first, be sure to ask him how it made him feel to help his friend out. Point out that despite the inconvenience to your child's schedule, helping a friend nearly always leads to a more meaningful friendship because that friend knows that he can count on your child. In laying down his life for his friend, your child has been a picture of Jesus to his friend.
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