3 Easy Ways to Talk With Your Kids on MLK Day

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. It's easy to let this day slip by without acknowledging the significance of the man we're celebrating. It's the first day off from school since the holidays, and it's a day that not everyone gets off from work. It's easy to view it as a day we can sleep in and let the kids hang out in their pajamas until noon and never really focus on the importance of what Martin Luther King Jr. accomplished.

Prejudice is an ugly thing. It breeds hatred for no reason other than someone looks or acts differently than us. No child is born with prejudice in their hearts. It is a learned attitude. Whether kids learn if from their parents, their grandparents or someone else in their lives, kids who express prejudice toward others learned it from someone.

God isn't real happy when we judge others based on their looks. He made every person in the world, and He made each one of them in His image (Genesis 1:27). When we choose to judge someone based on the way they look, we're judging God. God never looks at the out trappings of beauty or skin color. He looks at our hearts.

1 Samuel 16:7 says "The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." God is concerned with the content of our hearts, not whether our skin is black, white or purple or whether our hair is straight curly or spiked.

Prejudice causes us to view others as less important and less valuable than ourselves. Prejudice has led to slavery. It was behind the massacre of 8 million Jews in World War II. It has been the reason for the slaughter of ethnic groups in Rwanda and Kosovo. It comes in all forms, against all sorts of people.

Take some time today to talk with your kids about prejudice and help them understand that God does not want us to judge others. Use these three quick ways to focus your kids' attention on the reason for the day of from school.

• Give your kids a box of 64 crayons. Tell them to draw a picture. Then take the box away and give them just one crayon and ask them to draw a picture. Compare the two pictures. Talk about the variety of colors and how the colorful picture is more interesting than the one that has just one color. Explain that God created variety when it comes to people. Ask your kids to name the ways that people are different from each other. Explain that God wants us to love each other because He loves us and thinks we are all valuable, no matter the color of our skin, our hair or how we sound when we talk.
• Take a walk outside. Ask your kids to find five different things God made while on your walk. Talk about how different all the things are that God made. Even trees and grass have different varieties, sizes and colors. Talk about how people are like that, too. God made all different varieties of people so we could all fill different roles in God's plan. He designed us for a reason, and He made each one of us a masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10). When we choose to make fun of someone or dislike someone because of the way they look, we're telling God that what He made is no good.
• Talk about Martin Luther King Jr. Find pictures on the Internet of "whites only" bathrooms and drinking fountains. Talk about what it would have been like to be a black person living in a society like that. Most of our kids don't comprehend how the world could have functioned like that. My youngest daughter probably has 10 different ethnicities in her classroom this year. She is always puzzled when I describe a world where black people couldn't do the same things as white people. Listen to Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech. Talk about how difficult it would have been to stand up to the authorities. Talk with your kids about why it's important to speak up against injustice even when it is the unpopular thing to do.

God created a world with a huge variety of people. He didn't make one set of people more important than any other. He loves each and every one of us. Make sure you take some time today to focus on the beauty in all of the people God made.

I'm Thankful I Am Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Each day until Thanksgiving, Everyday Truth is looking at a different reason to be thankful in a family devotional. Use these devotionals with your kids to help keep your family focused on giving thanks. If you missed the introductory post, check it out here for directions on creating a "Thanksgiving wall." When you're done wiht the devotional head on over to the Everyday Truth Facebook page and join in the discussion of why we're thankful for our families.

Have you ever thought about how your body works? Hold up your hand and look at it. Bend your fingers, then straighten them out again. Make your hand into a fist. Pick something up.

For our hands to work properly, every bone, muscle, ligament and joint has to work together. There are 27 bones in each hand. That's a lot of bones. Our whole body only contains 206 bones, which means about one-quarter of our bones are in our hands.

Do you ever think about making those bones move when you want to do something? When you picked something up, did you have to tell your hand what to do? You didn't, did you? You just thought about picking something up and your hand did it. All those bones, muscles, ligaments and joints worked together to do the task without you having to think about each one. Isn't that amazing?

We don't usually notice how well our bodies work until they don't work. We don't think about breathing until we have a cold, and it's hard to breathe. We don't think about walking unless we break our foot, and it's difficult to walk. We don't think about seeing until we get something in our eye, and we can't see.

God made our bodies to work without us having to take time or energy to make them work. Psalm 139:14 says "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." David (the guy who wrote this Psalm) thanked God for making him. He realized that his body was an incredible thing. He says he is "fearfully and wonderfully made." And, you know what? You are, too.

God made you. He made your body so it is able to do all the things you need it to do. Even if your body has limitations, God gave you the tools to compensate for the limits. Did you know blind people usually can hear really well and smell really well? Those two senses help make up for the loss of sight. People who can't walk, usually have very strong arms so they can manuever a wheelchair or crutches. God created our bodies so they can make up in one area what they lack in another.

In Ephesians 2:10, Paul tells us that we are God's "masterpiece." That means we are the best thing He could ever make. Take a few minutes today and thank God for making you His masterpiece. Add the things you're thankful your body can do to your Thanksgiving wall. Pray and thank God that you are "fearfully and wonderfully made."

Summer Fun: The 39 Clues to You

Today is the first day of our summer vacation. It means a new schedule and a lot more time with my kids. It also means it's time to begin our summer "camp."

Many of you know that every summer, my girls and four of their friends gather in my kitchen to spend time having fun and learning about God. This summer, our little group is going to embark on the "39 Clues to You" adventure. Despite a doctor's visit for a severe ear infection in my youngest, which has caused us to rearrange the schedule a bit, we are going to get our adventure under way today.

Each week, I'll be sharing with you what we've done. And the great news is that this year, I'm writing up the curriculum as I go and hope to have it available to you in the fall, so you can use it with your own kids next summer.

I'm almost as excited as the girls. This summer's adventure focuses on the idea that God made every person unique so they can fill a spot in His plan. Every one of us is God's masterpiece -- the very best thing that He can make. Because of that, I want the girls to know that not only did God make them unique and special, but He made others to be unique and special, too. That means that we need to place value on others and treat them with the same care and respect that we would use with a Renoir painting.

Each week will focus on a different girl in our group. At the beginning of the day, the girls will receive six clues and they'll have to figure out which girl we are going to focus on that day. We'll learn to do something that she excels at. Eat some food that she enjoys. Read part of a book that she really likes and find out some of the things that she is passionate about.

At the end of the summer, we're going to have a challenge that will force all the girls to work together and use their specific talents to complete the challenge.

Today is our kick-off day. The girls will get three clues that focus on how each person is loved by and special to God. The answer to the clues is "You." After that, they will receive their T-shirts and their totes. While they decorate their totes, we'll talk about the plan for the summer.

After they decorate their totes, they will each have to choose from an assortment of snacks. Each girl will have to explain why she chooses the snack she does. We'll talk about how each person has different likes and dislikes and how that's important because it keeps us from all being the same. If we all only ate tomatoes, then it would be hard to feed all of us.

Our big project for the day will focus on Ephesians 2:10, which says "For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." We will look at pictures of art and architectural masterpieces and talk about how a masterpiece is the best that we can achieve.

We'll discuss how God says that we are His masterpiece, so we are the best thing that He can create. We'll also talk about how art masterpieces are treated -- with care and respect. We'll learn that God wants us to treat other people as if they are masterpieces -- with care and respect.

Each girl will get an artist's canvas, so she can create her own masterpiece with paint. We'll write Ephesians 2:10 on them. They will get to take them home and hang them in a place where they will remember that they are God's masterpiece.

As they leave, they will receive a challenge for the week that encourages them to treat their siblings as if their siblings are a masterpiece. When they come back next week, they'll need to know their memory verse and have written down one way that they treated their siblings like masterpieces to receive their prize.

I can't wait to see how God works in the hearts of these girls this summer. I just know that we're going to face August with a new respect for how God has created other people. And my prayer is that we'll have changed hearts in the way that we deal with others.

Unexpected Friends

I had lunch yesterday with a friend of mine. She has a very different life than me. She's single with no kids and is working on her master's degree. She's also my youngest daughter's hockey instructor. We first met her when we went to buy my daughter's first set of hockey gear. I wrote about our first meeting with her in one of my first blog posts, Finding God in the Sporting Goods Store. She's been a blessing to my daughter, but as my daughter got to know her, I realized I wanted to get to know her, too. She's been a staunch supporter of my daughter's hockey dreams, offering advice and encouragement. But hockey aside, she's also smart, funny, vibrant and genuine. Definitely someone I wanted to get to know.

Somewhere over the course of the past year we became friends. We occasionally go out to lunch and regularly text back and forth. She broadens my perspective on the world simply because her life is different from mine.

On my way home from lunch yesterday, I realized I am blessed. While the vast majority of my friendships are with women who are in the same place in life as me, my world is enriched by some amazing friendships with women who are in different ages and stages of life. God has made such a huge variety of people in this world, and our lives are enriched when we get to share them with people who are different from us.

We naturally tend to gravitate toward people who have similar likes and dislikes and who are in situations similar to ours. But, if we avoid relationships with people who are in different places in their lives than we are, we miss out on the joy those people can add to our lives and the joy we can bring to theirs.

We've all heard the saying, "Don't judge a book by its cover," but too often that's what we do when choosing our friends. Too often, we automatically rule out friendships with people who don't seem to share a common interest with us. Sometimes, we'll get a second shot at a relationship with that person, but most of the time we simply miss out on the richness that person can bring to our lives.

The Bible tells us that each of us is "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14) and even goes so far as to call each of us "God's masterpiece" (Ephesians 2:10). I don't want to miss out on the great variety of temperaments, talents and viewpoints that God has created. But to get to know those people who are different from us generally takes more effort than becoming friends with people with whom we have obvious things in common. Many times, we're not willing to put forth that effort, so we miss out on the masterpiece God made in someone else.

Looking below the surface trappings of our lives to see the people underneath is what God wants us to do. He wants us to see others with His eyes. 1 Samuel 16:7 says "The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” We want to be able to look beyond our obvious commonalities or our obvious differences and see underneath to the masterpiece that God created.

We also want to encourage our kids not to dismiss people they know as possible friends based on surface knowledge of that person. Encourage your kids to look beyond obvious commonalities and search for ways to connect with other kids who may be different from them. We can't expect our kids to be friends with everyone, but we can teach them to look for opportunities to be friends with a variety of people.

When we look beyond the surface picture, we might find that our single next door neighbor has a wicked sense of humor, or your child may find that the shy kid who sits next to him at school is actually a whiz at soccer. It simply takes a minute of our time and a little effort on our part to reach out and befriend those people in our lives who may seem different from us. I've found that those friendships always enrich the lives of both people involved.

So, today, look around your world with new eyes and see if you can identify someone in your life that might make a pretty good friend even if they are at a different place in their life from you. Encourage your children to see the kids around them with new eyes -- to look at all of the kids they know as potential friends. Who knows, you may find a new friend in the sporting goods aisle. I did.

Why Are Kids So Mean?

Yesterday was one of those days that simply makes a parent's soul weary. My fourth grader is discovering that life isn't always fun and girls can be mean. It's so hard to watch her try to sort out why a girl who is her friend one day decides to be mean to her the next. It's not fun for her and it hurts my heart to watch her struggle.

To make matters worse, it's state testing time. I really don't think there's a person on the planet who hates state testing more than I do. Every year at this time, the focus at school changes from teaching children for the sake of learning to teaching children to take a test. It sucks all the creativity and joy out of going to school for my daughter. She becomes a sullen, cry-at-the-drop-of-a-hat child focused on whether or not she's going to meet her next goal.

Combine a missed testing goal with a bunch of 9- and 10-year-old mean girls, and you get a day that can almost reduce a 9-year-old to tears and that can make a mother wonder "What on earth do I say to her?" While it all makes my heart hurt, I can't fix either issue that she's dealing with. She has to take the state tests, and these girls are just the first people she's going to encounter who make themselves feel better by putting others down.

So, on the way to soccer last night, I sent up a prayer for wisdom and dove in with some explanation, some encouragement and lots of love. If you're a heart-sick mom who's watching your child struggle with the hurtful comments of other kids, try some of these things to encourage your child.

• Reassure your child of their worth. Remind them that Ephesians 2:10 says "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." No matter what anyone else says about them or to them, God created them and considers them to be his "masterpiece."
• 
  Help your child to understand that people who don't know Jesus, don't know that they are God's masterpiece. When they feel insecure or bad about themselves, they can't fall back on the knowledge that God made them in His image. So, to make themselves feel better, they use their words to put other people down.
• Help your child pray for those that are causing them pain. This is so hard, even as an adult, but Matthew 5:44 says "But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." Pray that those other kids would learn that they are valuable to God, so they will no longer need to put others down to feel better about themselves.
• Reassure your child of your love. Make a point to tell your child how much you love him. Spend some extra time with him. Do something that will make him feel special and loved.
• Don't hesitate to step in if the situation warrants. This may mean a phone call to the teacher or the other child's parent. This one is tricky because you don't want to make the situation worse, but don't let your child continue to be bullied if the situation begins to spiral out of control. There's a big difference between a bad day and a continual pattern of bullying.
• Pray diligently for your child. There is nothing your child needs more than your love and your prayer. Let your child know that you are praying for them while they are at school. Knowing that you are jumping into the battle with them will bolster your child's confidence in dealing with the situation.

Remember that nothing provides healing more than God's love. Help your child remember that she is a God's masterpiece and that you consider her a gift. Children who know that they are loved and have love to give to others have the most important weapon in these childhood skirmishes.

God the Redeemer

Each day in November, the Everyday Truth blog is looking at a different name for God and providing a family devotional for you to use with your kids. The goal is to keep our hearts focused on giving thanks to God during the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving.



(Before you start this devotional, choose one item that belongs to each of your kids and place it in a prominent place -- the mantel, the kitchen counter. Make sure you choose something precious that your child won't want to live without.)

God is our Redeemer. What does that statement mean to you? Probably not a lot. Redeemer isn't a word we use a whole lot in our culture. It wouldn't be at all surprising if you have no idea what it really means to call God your redeemer.

To redeem something means that you buy something back by paying a certain price. Your parent has taken something that is valuable to you. To get it back, you need to pay your parent $100. If you're a normal kid, you probably don't have that kind of money and certainly think it's unfair that you would have to pay it to get your possessions back, right? If you don't have the money, what you need is a redeemer -- someone who will pay the price for you to redeem (or get back) your possessions.

Ephesians 2:10 says "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago." If we are God's masterpiece, then we are valuable to Him. Sin separates us from God. It places a barrier between us and God, and no amount of money, energy or time will allow us to cross that barrier. We simply can't do enough to tear down the barrier between us and God. Sin makes us in need of a redeemer -- someone who will buy us back from an eternity separated from God. Because God knew we needed a redeemer, He sent Jesus. Jesus paid the ultimate price -- he died -- because you and I sin. But then Jesus rose again and became our redeemer. Job 19:25 says "I know that my redeemer lives." He bought us back by paying the price in our place.

Romans 6:23 tells us that the wages or consequences of sin is death, which includes an eternity without God. But Jesus paid that price for us, so that we can spend eternity with God.

We have so much to be thankful for when we know that God is our redeemer. Write down on your thankfulness tree's leaves ways that you are thankful that God is your redeemer. It could be that you're thankful that you can spend eternity with God. Or you could be thankful that God sent Jesus to die for you.

Pray together as a family, thanking God for providing Jesus as the redeemer even though we have done nothing to deserve being redeemed.

Finding Your Spot

I love to go to my girls' music program. I am constantly amazed at what our music teacher can accomplish with a group a of kids. They don't just stand up there and sing -- they twirl, they do hand motions, they bop up and down, mostly in time with the music. Every year, though, one of my girls will come home complaining about how someone else got in her spot.

The girls' music programs only look good when everyone is in their spot. When one child starts encroaching on another child's spot, things go wonky. Kids fall off risers, somebody gets an elbow in the face, props get knocked over. It's not a pretty sight -- funny, but not pretty.

It's the same way in life, too. God created each of us -- you, me, your kids -- to fill a specific spot in His plan. When we're unhappy with who God made us to be or we try to be just like everyone else, we throw things out of kilter. Mostly, the person we mess up is us. If you have a child who loves ballet, signing her up for field hockey will probably make her miserable. On the other hand, if you have a child who loves to play football, signing him up for art class may not be the way to go.

It's tough to be a kid. As our kids grow, they start learning where their spot is. Sometimes that spot is smack in the middle of what everyone else is doing. Sometimes that spot is so far away from what their friends consider normal, your child might as well be on another planet. For most kids, their friends' approval is important to them. They will do some of the craziest things to gain it. The struggle for us moms is to help our children find the spot God has for them as well as their place among their friends.

Raising confident, self-assured children who know they are valuable in God's sight and in yours is a daunting challenge. Mainly, it consists of being consistent and persistent in giving your child that message. I think that outside of "God loves you and sent Jesus to die for you," the message that they are valuable in God's sight is the most important one that your children will ever hear. I've already decided that in our house, next summer's adventure will revolve around this. I'm calling it "The 39 Clues to Finding You." Until then, try some of these quick activities to help your kids find their spot in God's plan.

• When your child brings home artwork from school or creates a marvelous piece of artwork at home, talk about what a masterpiece it is. Ask them what they think God considers His masterpiece. Have them look up or read to them Ephesians 2:10, which says "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Talk about the fact that you are God's masterpiece means you are the best thing He could ever make.
• Let your kids try new things. It's tough to find your spot -- the place where you can serve God best -- if you don't know what you can do. If your child wants to learn to ice skate, paint pottery, play water polo, write books or fly an airplane, do what you can to enable them to learn about those things. Even if doesn't seem like something they would be good at, let them give it a try. You might be surprised. My oldest daughter plays soccer. Honestly, she's not the most graceful child in the world, and she's about the gentlest soul you could meet. We thought she would get eaten alive on the soccer field, but we let her try it. Turns out she has a completely different personality on the field than off of it. She's aggressive, does amazing things with her feet and is a pretty talented player -- and she loves it. We never would have known that if we had discouraged her from trying.
• Encourage your children. Offering encouragement to your kids is probably the single most important thing you can do as they seek to find their spot. Remind them often that you love them for who they are and so does God. Even when they fail at something, remind them that their value is not in whether they succeed in everything but in the fact that God made them. Don't puff your children up with a false sense of pride. Every child is not the next Renoir or Mickey Mantle, but don't put down their accomplishments either. Help your child discover the things at which God has gifted them without destroying their sense of accomplishment when they try something at which they aren't that gifted.
• If you have more than one child, chances are they are good at different things. Have the whole family try the things at which one child excels. For example, in our house, my youngest ice skates well. My husband can't skate at all. Getting the whole family on the ice gives the rest of us an appreciation for what my youngest has accomplished. This is especially good for siblings who have a tendency to put down whatever the other one does as "not that hard."
• Get some modeling clay or Play-doh and a mold for it. Ask your children to make several items with the clay and the mold. Point out how all the things made with the mold look very similar. Talk about how God didn't use a mold to make your child. He didn't want us all to look alike, act alike or be talented at the same things. Tell them that sometimes our friends want us to look like them and act like them, but God didn't make us to all be just alike. He made us different and special so we can take our spot in His plan.

Whatever you choose to do to remind your children that they are God's masterpiece, do it consistently and do it often. The world works hard to force our children to fit a mold. We want them to know the only mold they have to fit is the one God used to make them -- and that mold was broken the day they were born. No one else was made just like them.