The New Kid

My oldest daughter's grade is the smallest in the school. There are only three classes for her grade when the other grades in the school have four or five classes. Most of these fifth-graders have been together since kindergarten.

The other day she came home telling me about this new girl who played soccer with her at recess. I asked "What's her name?" "Does she play soccer on a team?" The answer to both questions was that my daughter didn't know.

Being the new kid stinks. Walking into the beginning of a new school year not knowing anyone is intimidating and lonely. Being the only new kid on the soccer team or in the acting class makes something a child loves, an activity to dread.

As school starts back up for most of us, helping our kids be aware of the new children in their midst and encouraging them to show some compassion and offer friendship can go a long way toward easing the transition for the new kids in their midst.

Most of the time the kids who have been together in a class or on a team don't even think about how tough it must be to be "the new kid." The established kids aren't intentionally mean. They're just oblivious.

As this school year gets under way, help open your kids' eyes to the new kids in their midst and encourage them to offer friendship and include those kids in their activities. Inviting a child to join them in a game or activity doesn't cost your child anything, but it may mean everything to the other child.

• If your child talks about a new child at school or from a sport or activity, gently encourage them to get to know the other child. Ask them if they are including that child in their activity.
• Help your child to walk a mile in the other child's shoes. Ask your child how she would feel if she were the new kid. Help her brainstorm ways that she can make the other child feel welcome.
• Remind your child that God accepts each of us, flaws and all. He loves us and includes us in His kingdom, despite our flaws. He wants us to show the same compassion to others. In John 13:34, Jesus says, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."

Getting our kids to step outside their comfort zone to reach out to another child teaches our children compassion and gives them an opportunity to show God's love to others.

Memory Monday: Another School Year (Luke 2:52)

School starts today for my girls. We have backpacks ready and first-day outfits laid out. The girls are partly excited, partly anxious and partly sad that our summer has come to an end. Mom is partly excited, partly anxious and partly sad to see them go back.

While I no longer have first-day tears (on my part and theirs) like we did in kindergarten, the first day of school always brings a twinge to my heart. Each year as I watch them head into the school building, I realize that we're another year closer to my girls being grown.

This is my oldest daughter's last year of elementary school. As proud as I am of the young lady she's becoming, I miss the little girl she was.

My youngest is now a third-grader. In some ways, that's harder for me to accept than the fact that my oldest is a fifth-grader. My youngest is no longer one of the "little" kids at school. Her class gets grouped with the older kids when they split the school into groups for activities. Since she's my baby, I think that fact makes me realize just how quickly the time has passed.

As I send my kids out the door for another school year, I'm once again reminded that no matter how quickly the time passes or how big my kids get, they still need guidance. I want them to grow like Jesus did: "And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man." (Luke 2:52)

While I want them to grow and be healthy, I also want them to grow to be wise. As they get older, my kids are making more and more of their own decisions. Some are good; some are not.

As they leave our house to venture once more into the world, I know there's nothing I can do to protect them from the things they will encounter. It's my job to build them up at home, pour God's wisdom into them and cover them in prayer when they're gone.

As school starts again, whether we are sending your kids off to a school building or we are their teacher at home, our kids still need us to be their support system. They need us to encourage them, teach them and pray for them. No child is too old to need those things.

Take a moment today, and every day, to give your child an encouraging word, to find a teachable moment and use it and to spend some time specifically praying for your kids. There's nothing more important you can do today.

First Day of School

I just dropped my girls off for the first day of school. This is the first year that my oldest wouldn't let me walk her to her class. I got the "Mooommm" outcry when I asked. My second-grader started to tell me I had to drop her at the door, too, and I told her she didn't get a choice, mom was walking her in.

As they stood at the door to the school, I was hit with the realization that another year has gone by. My girls are bigger, older, stronger, and (hopefully) more mature. They have grown in so many ways since I dropped them off at the school doors last year. We've embarked on the adventure of being a two-sport family. We've seen them make great strides in how they think about putting others first (unless, of course, it's your sister; then it's "me first") and thinking about how they can make a difference in the world. We've seen a little bit more of the world and broadened our perspectives about what it means to be "rich."

When I looked at those girls as they passed through the doors of the school this morning, I wondered what this year will hold for them. I prayed that God would protect them and let them enjoy these fleeting moments of childhood. I prayed that they would have fun and that their friendships would grow. And, mostly I prayed that God would help them make wise decisions. While my influence as a parent is still great in their lives, every year that I send them through those school doors I'm aware that my influence is tempered by that of their friends and their teachers. My prayer is that God's influence is greater than all of those, and that it's His counsel that they seek when faced with a tough decision.

With that in mind, we started a new tradition this morning. This school year, I'm committed to not just praying for my children but praying with them before their day starts. First thing, every morning, I plan to pray with each of my girls, individually. This morning, I did it when I woke them up. I asked them what they wanted me to pray for today, and then I prayed for them. I've tried to do something similar in past years, but somehow we always run out of time. This year, I've been convicted that this is the most important thing I can do to prepare my girls for the day. We're going to make it part of our morning routine, so they leave this house knowing that they have been covered in prayer.

I urger you to consider doing the same with your kids. The rewards are numerous. You get to share a time of prayer with each child, and your children will begin to open up to you about the things that are bothering them when they know you're going to pray about it with them. Plus, you get into the practice of each morning placing your children into God's powerful hands. There's no better place for them to be.